If you are a business owner and have not been sued or at least threatened with a lawsuit, it really is just a matter of time.  Conflict is inherent when you are in business.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of or afraid of, but it is something to be prepared for because it’s going to happen.

Let’s look at some of the ways conflict arise and what you can do to mitigate the cost of it to you and your business.

* You and a joint venture partner make an agreement to create a product together, but you don’t document that agreement and it turns out to cost more than either of you anticipated and now you can’t agree about who is going to pay for what, leading to conflict;

* You engage a client for your services and three months into the engagement things are not going well.  You and your client seem to have a different recollection about how you would be paid and what you were promising. Now your client is unhappy and wants a refund, leading to conflict;

* You hire a website designer who promises to complete your new site within a certain time frame and he can never seem to keep his agreements. You  try to work through it, but finally, you give up and decide you have to make a switch only to find out that your web designer owns all of the work you’ve done up until that time and wants you to pay in full before transferring it over to you, leading to conflict;

* One of your team members is not keeping up with her work and you find out she’s been working other jobs without telling you, using intellectual property you created.  You fire her, leading to conflict;

Of course, the list could go on and on.  Any time you are working with others in your business, you are at risk of a conflict that could derail your growth.

When you find yourself in one of these conflicts, it’s very easy to get confused about the right thing to do.   Who was at fault?  How could they be doing this to you? What should you do?

The answer to these questions lies in your LIFT Foundation.  If you have a strong LIFT Foundation in place, you won’t have to worry about a thing when these conflicts arise because you’ll have the tools for handling them easily and without fear.  If you don’t have a LIFT Foundation in place, conflict can be a difficult place to find yourself.

With a LIFT Foundation in place, you will have clearly documented agreements that ensure conflict is resolved easily because everyone knows in advance what was agreed to and there is no uncertainty.  You will have clearly documented policies and procedures for your team members, so when someone violates a policy, you have clear grounds to end the relationship.  And if all else fails, you have the benefit of the corporate shield in place to ensure your personal assets are never at risk from a business accident.

Legal protection from conflict is only a small part of the LIFT Foundation.  To discover what else you need to have a LIFT Foundation in place in your business, request my free 60-minute audio program at http://www.LIFTMyBiz.com.

Isn’t it time you got serious about your business?  What I promise you is that when you do, so will the rest of the world - your family, friends, clients, vendors, team members, and even lenders and investors. LIFT is what you need to take your business to a higher level.

When was the last time you gave someone the benefit of the doubt?  If you are like most people, it’s been a long time.  What you probably do (most of us do!) is take every little thing personally.  A friend is in a bad mood and makes a comment that you consider hurtful and your mind builds a whole story around how judgmental and demeaning she always is.  Or, your spouse forgets to pick up the milk that you were waiting on as the vital ingredient in your dinner recipe and suddenly your mind focuses in on all of the other ways he has been absent-minded and forgetful about something you needed.  Or your boss gets short and snippy with you when you make a simple mistake and suddenly you feel totally unappreciated and begin to hate your job.

What if the next time someone in your life did something hurtful or mean-spirited, you recognized that it had nothing to do with you at all and you let it go instead of attaching a whole story to it?

Now, you might be saying - wait a minute, how could something directed at me (like a comment or an action) have nothing to do with me?

Wrap your mind around this - almost nothing that happens in your relationships with other people has anything to do with you.

I first learned this lesson when I was in law school, working as a research assistant for a professor. I really liked this professor, but once I began working for her I noticed that she would sometimes be really mean to me.  I felt like I must be the worst RA ever.

One night, I was talking to my dad about this and what he said was a huge wake up call to me.

He said “Lex, how could you be so self-centered that you think everything is about you? You have no idea what’s going on with her life - who called her right before you walked in, whether she got in a fight with her husband last night or whether she just got bad news in the mail.  She doesn’t hate you and isn’t being mean to you.  Stop taking everything personally.”

Huh? Taking everything personally.  But, she was being mean to me, how could I not take it personally.  I must have done something wrong, right?  WRONG!  My dad was absolutely right; I needed to get out of my self and give my professor the benefit of the doubt.  She wasn’t being mean to me because she didn’t like me; she was grumpy because something happened in her life and I just happened to be there.

Instead, what I could do is feel compassion for her and not take anything personally.

It’s so easy to jump to conclusions about people or things, isn’t it?  Someone says something a certain way or does that certain thing that pushes our buttons and instantly we’re taken to a place of reaction and unnecessary emotional response.

As I mentioned a couple weeks back, the road to wealth is often paved with potholes, roadblocks, stinky piles of gunk and confusing forks in the road.  And guess what?  Most of those potholes and roadblocks are external reflections of your own internal gunk.

One of the major differences between those who experience consistent growth both personally and financially and those who are stuck is the concept of taking personal responsibility.

Let’s look at some common ways this may present in your life:

1. You feel as if you are under appreciated by people around you.

2. You are angry that the coaching program you joined is not providing the results you believed you would receive.

3. Things seem to keep happening to you, such as speeding tickets, car accidents, or the loss of prized possessions.

4. Your phone is not ringing as much as it should.

5. You repeatedly get into fights or little disagreements with friends or family.

You could look at any one of the situations I listed and come up with a reason that these things are happening that have nothing to do with you.

For example, you could say that you are under appreciated by people around you because your friends, kids and family are naturally ungrateful.  Or you could say that the coaching program you joined isn’t working because your coach isn’t any good.  Or that the car accident was because of the idiot who didn’t look where he was going.  Or that your phone isn’t ringing because of the economy.  Or that the fights and disagreements you are getting into are their fault.

It sure is easy to find external reasons for everything happening in your life, isn’t it?  But it’s only seems easier.  It’s really not because there is never any resolution.  These things will continue to happen until you learn the greater lessons they carry with them.

Begin looking for the real reason these things are showing up for you.  Every situation has a personal lesson for you.  It could be that the lesson is forgiveness.  It could be compassion. It could be tenderness.  It could be that the lesson is to stop blaming and start taking personal responsibility.

If you feel under-appreciated, it could be because you are not giving yourself enough appreciation and your lesson is to learn how to love yourself more.  If the coaching program isn’t working, it could be because you need to learn how to work it.  Perhaps the car accident could have been avoided if you had gotten more sleep and your reflexes were sharper.  Maybe the economic shift is happening so you can learn a new way to market your business.  And it could be that the fights and disagreements with your family members are there to show you what you do and don’t want in your life.

Taking personal responsibility may feel difficult at first, but truthfully it’ll make our life a whole lot easier because it will ultimately allow you to build the supportive community that you need to take your life to a higher level.

So, how do you start?

Begin to notice any time in the next week that you are feeling unhappy about something and looking to someone else other than yourself for the resolution.  At first, simply notice it and become aware. Don’t beat yourself up about it, simply notice.

Then, once you’ve been noticing for a while, you can begin asking yourself – what does this have to teach me? Or what’s here for me? Or what is trying to emerge from this situation?

Write down the answers that come and begin to look for patterns and old habits that are ready to be shed as you step into a new, whole version of yourself that knows that everything happening around outside of you is simply a reflection of everything going on inside and all of it has a vitally important lesson for you.

The road to wealth isn’t always lined with sweet smelling roses and crystal clear paths on which to travel.   In fact, I’d say it’s exactly the opposite.  In my experience, the road to wealth has been paved with potholes, roadblocks, stinky piles of gunk and confusing forks in the road.

Nice imagery, eh?  But, it’s true, wouldn’t you agree?  In fact, I’ve yet to meet one truly wealthy person who has said to me “oh no, it’s been a breeze.”

The truth is that life happens and very often the circumstances that confront us along the path through life (especially if we are not willing to settle for mediocre) may appear to be less than ALL GOOD.

For example, did you know that many people who are super wealthy today have experienced personal bankruptcies in the past?  Here’s a list of famous people who have been through bankruptcy.  And of course, there’s Donald Trump, Mark Victor Hansen and Bill Bartmann too, each of whom have bounced back from the brink and come back better than ever.

My point is NOT to tell you to court bankruptcy – not at all, it’s to help you see the ALL GOOD in something even as painful as that.

If there’s one common denominator among all the truly wealthy people I’ve met, it’s that they manage to find the ALL GOOD in every circumstance, even something as apparently bad as a bankruptcy, foreclosure, business closure, or even divorce.

How do they do that and most importantly, how can you?

The key is to be able to step back out of your current circumstances and see the bigger picture.  For example, let’s say you are facing foreclosure of your home or your business going under, what would happen if you looked beyond your immediate circumstances and instead saw beyond what you can see right now?

You might see that losing your business is the best thing that could ever happen.  Perhaps, it’s this loss that will teach you what you need to know to go on to build the most phenomenal business that will impact millions.  Or maybe giving up your home is what’s necessary for you to discover how to make the right decisions going forward for your family.  Or it could be that whatever is happening right now in your life will force you to ask for help in a whole new way and you’ll meet the person who changes everything for you.

Accept that you may not know what’s coming and, in this moment, have faith and trust that whatever is happening right now in your life is ALL GOOD and for your highest good and take action from that place.  When you do, true wealth is right around your corner.

Because it can sometimes be hard to see it in our own lives, this famous zen story may help bring it home.  Enjoy!

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.

“Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.

“We’ll see,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.

“How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.

“We’ll see,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

“We’ll see,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

“We’ll see” said the farmer.

You don’t have to wait and see. In this moment, become aware that whatever is happening is ALL GOOD. You may not see it now, but breathe through it now and when you look back upon this time of your life, you may just find it was the time of greatest growth and opportunity to bring you towards more wealth.