A few days ago, I posted about my own financial fear and how it has impacted my business and life over the past several years.

As I’ve confronted this issue within myself over the past several months, I’ve built a framework to go around it that I’ve been working through for myself so that I can stop making decisions based on fear and begin to feel really empowered about my relationship with money.

If you receive my emails or follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you’ve heard about it already - it’s called the money map and I’m hosting a free call about it on the last day of this year.

Since you are a loyal reader here, I’m giving you a little more information than I’ve given others about this money map framework, how it came to be and what it means for you.

First, let me say this - I believe this may be the most important work I have ever done up until now.

You see, I’ve been teaching business owners for a few years now and what I’ve come to see is I can give you a complete business system (or even in the case of the guy I sold my business to a complete already set up business!), but if you are operating from financial fear, you will find it very, very difficult (maybe impossible) to do what you need to do to be successful.

Financial fear can be the most insidious disease that keeps us from our dreams, if we allow it to be.   When I am operating from financial fear, I make bad decisions.  Do you resonate with that?

I built my law firm to a million bucks without a money map.   The five years I ran the firm were some of the most painful of my life because of my nearly constant overwhelming financial fear.

I was making plenty of money and had plenty of free time, but I was constantly living on the edge of massive amounts of fear.

Yes, I learned how to feel the fear and do it anyway.  But, I was white knuckling it every step of the way.  As a result, I eventually sabotaged the firm because I simply could not handle the intense fear.

That’s what happens when you don’t deal with the fear – you will eventually sabotage yourself in a myriad of ways.

In my case, I sold my million dollar business to a guy who stopped paying the bills (including the money he owed me) within 6 months of taking over.  I’m now carrying $250,000 of debt as a result.  Yes, my financial fear turned millions of dollars into a massive debt.

Now, the good news about this is that the experience totally broke through my financial fear and I have hardly any of it now.  The worst happened.

You’ve heard the saying “what you resist persists”, right?  Well, I resisted myself right to 6-figures worth of debt.

And sure, that’s one path. But that is not the path I want for you.  For you, I offer the gift of my mistakes so you don’t have to experience the worst to break through your fears.

With hindsight, I can look at the decisions I made that led me to sell my firm to someone who would not (and could not) be successful with it and see that I made those decisions because I was scared to be running a 7-figure business and because I didn’t know how to handle my fear, I sabotaged it.

I sabotaged it by saying yes to the first person who said he’d buy despite the fact that he didn’t have the business knowledge or self awareness himself to step into a 7-figure business.

So, what happened?

The minute he stepped in, he became absolutely paralyzed by his own fear and could not make any decisions.  And the decisions he did make were horrendous.

I watched it happen and while the lessons were amazing, I would have preferred not to have had them.

The reason we don’t have 7 or 8-figure businesses dropped into our laps is because we need to ease into the financial expansion necessary to stay out of financial fear enough to take right action on an ongoing basis.

Let me give you a concrete example so you can see what I mean:

To grow your business, you need to invest in your business.  It’s just the nature of the thing.  So, when I turned the business over to the guy who bought the firm, he was going to have to keep making investments.  Payroll and  marketing were the two biggest investments he’d have to make.

Well, each time he was presented with a marketing plan by the awesome marketing director I had hired for him and he was asked for a check to pay for the marketing campaign that needed to be run he hemmed, he hawed, and ultimately wouldn’t authorize the expenditures.

Within months he was asking me why there were no clients coming in. Well, friend, if you don’t do the marketing, the phone doesn’t ring.

Let’s look at this in my own case.

When I started my second business, I was back at the 1mm-1.5mm mark within one year. Once you expand to a certain level, getting back to that level is fairly easy.   But, now it’s been a couple of years and I’ve spent the past several months looking at what is holding me back from moving beyond.   And now I can see, it’s my unresolved financial fears holding me back.

I have expanded my comfort zone to support a 1m-1.5mm business, but not beyond that.  Going to the next level is scary and too big to white knuckle my way through.

And thus was born the money map.  A framework for making decisions about spending money so I wouldn’t be making them based in fear, but instead based in what I really want from life and business.

Here’s what I know …. when you are worried about money, you cannot be focused on your bigger impact on the world.  You are in survival mode.

What I’ve discovered through the process of creating my money map technology is that the most difficult part can be looking at what you really want because if you see it, acknowledge it and don’t get it, you will die.  At least that’s what it feels like to me.

But, I’ve also become aware that being willing to really look (even when it’s hard) is the key to EVERYTHING.  At least for me.  Maybe it will be for you too.

So I created a way to look that makes it less difficult.  I’m not going to tell you that it’s totally easy.  It’s not.  It’s still a little hard.  But, I’ve found that most things are a little hard.  Having a baby is a lot hard.  In both cases, the outcome is amazingly worth it.

What’s super cool about it is that it dovetails very nicely with LIFT (which was totally not planned but is one of those signs from the Universe that says to me - keep going Alexis, you are on the right path!).

So, no matter whether you are at 5-figures trying to get to 6 or 6-figures trying to get to 7 (or just starting out and are scared to death), the money map clears the fog and unparalyzes you so you can feel great about the decisions you are making and move forward.  I cannot wait to share it with you!!

You want truth? Here it is.

Last month I had to put $20,000 into my company from my own personal money. I’m supposed to be beyond that stage. I have a 7-figure business.

It was only for a few days to cover an early payroll due to the Thanksgiving holiday, but that was a few too many days.

When I look at what’s happening and why I had to put money in when my company is making so much money, I saw that I’m at the stage where I either need to invest money in marketing my business or cut back on my expenses. And this is the place where most entrepreneurs ultimately fail.

To invest in growth requires additional capital. And since I don’t currently have a line of credit for this business, additional capital means my own bank account. (I’ll be talking with you about lines of credit and how to get one set up the right way as part of LIFT. I used lines of credit in my law firm and it was key to our growth, but the lending enviro is much different today than it was back in 2005/6).

That’s scary shizznit.

But, the truth is that my expenses are high. And yet they are what they need to be in order to keep everything going.

From a support perspective, a housekeeper, a personal assistant, and a business manager are the bare minimum I can get along with. I “need” this type of support so that I can have the time and space to run my company(ies), take care of my own self and find the creative time I need to be happy and fulfilled.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m coaching with Tim Kelley about my purpose and it’s some of the most intense and rewarding personal work I’ve ever done at the mind level. To do it well and experience the most transformation and clarity takes an investment of time.

I need to find the creative time for this work and I won’t if I have to do my bookkeeping and clean my house. I’d seriously die. Well, I probably wouldn’t die, but that’s what it feels like when I think about it. Like I would die if I had to do my bookkeeping, clean my house and a hundred other little things that I have amazing support people do for me. Like packing for the move.

I now realize that this is where most business owners people are. I used to be paralyzed by financial fear. I couldn’t invest in my business because I was terrified. Beyond terrified. Frozen.

It kept me completely and totally stuck. I was so frugal. Okay, I was cheap. Massively cheap. Like split the bill to the penny because I didn’t want anyone else to pay a penny less than me cheap.

I had a breakthrough and became willing to invest in my business when I finally saw there was no other way to grow. If I wanted to expand, I’d need help. To get help, I’d need to hire people and pay them. So, I did it. Scared to death every second.

But as soon as I committed, the resources I needed showed up in the form of teachers to help me re-price and package my services and clients who paid my increased fees, neither of which I would have experienced had I held to my prior narrow thinking that I would do it all myself.

That breakthrough coincided with an awakening in my body and suddenly I cared about how I felt on a daily basis. I wanted to feel good. I could no longer live numb.

I began going to yoga. I spent 4 days/week going to yoga and adding up numbers in my head. Worrying that I would run out of money. But, breathing my way through it.

And as a result, my business finally started making money. A lot of money. It was the year I hit my first million. 2006.

I eliminated a lot of financial fear then. But, it wasn’t because I hit a million. It was because I knew I’d be okay no matter what. No. Matter. What. I knew how to make money.

Yes, bringing in clients was part of it. But, the other part of it was that I became willing to take on the support people I needed to grow the business as well as invest in the coaching I needed to make smart decisions.

Fast forward a few years. With the perspective I have now, I can see how financial fear is the thing that holds us back from experiencing the business and life growth we desire. I have so much support today. That support gives me the freedom to do what I do best, to give my greatest gifts and have the time I need to take care of myself and create. All good.

When it becomes not so good is when I freak out because the support costs money and I have to put money into my business from my own pocket. My biggest challenge when that happens (and it will during times of growth) is to not get struck by financial fear and start making bad decisions.

The last time I felt serious financial fear was at one point during the peak of the hysteria regarding whether we were in a recession. There was this one day, I felt so terrified. It was like I was going to die. When I think about my actual financial situation at that time, there was nothing to be terrified about. And yet, I was. The energy of the nationwide financial fear seeped into my body.

It didn’t last long. A few days maybe. But even a short period of financial fear can hurt relationships. Making decisions from financial terror can be catastrophic.

It’s where most of us get stuck. No matter how much money you are making in your business, you are going to butt up against your own financial fear at some point. How you handle it determines if you reach the next level of success or not.

We all want the support we need to do what we do best and the freedom of not having to worry about making our bills. But most of us don’t know how to get from here to there.

Here’s one way. Bring awareness. Take a good hard look at what you’ve not been willing to look at. Really dig in and pay attention to the places where you need to make choices. Like what do you really, really, really, really want? What is truly important and what can you let go? And is the fear real or like mine was for many years merely an illusion brought on by mass financial hysteria?

I was talking with my sister a while back and since we were raised by the same parents and under the same circumstances, she’s got the same financial fear I used to have. She is still caught up in it. As a result, she was doing a job she didn’t really love because of the steady paycheck and kept putting off starting her business. Here’s what’s nutty. My sister has $100,000 saved up from that job. And yet, she’s still operating from financial fear and not reality or awareness. What that said to me is that this is something I need to help people with because it seriously is one of the major “secrets to my success.”

I’ve managed to breakthrough my financial fear almost completely and as a result I have the freedom to make choices that allow me to live my life on purpose.

Once you have money handled, you are freed up to focus on the gifts you are really here to give. We are not here to worry about money. We are here to have a meaningful impact.

How is worrying about money holding you back from making your own meaningful impact? Where are you not getting the support you need because you don’t have the money or are not willing to invest the money you do have in yourself? How are you compromising in your own life because of financial fear? The first step is awareness. Leave a comment and let me know where you now have awareness of how financial fear is stopping you.

Confession time: In the past, I was afraid to ask hard questions because I didn’t want people to think I didn’t trust them. I didn’t want them not to like me.  I didn’t want them to think one thing or another about me.

So, I said yes to things that were not in my best interest. Like the guys who flat out ripped me off for $10,000.

It (and many other things like that) happened because I was operating my business and life in the dark.  It was easier not to ask the hard questions.

I didn’t want them to think I didn’t trust them. I didn’t want to make them feel bad. I didn’t want to be unreasonable.  So I kept my eyes closed and dove in to the relationship without looking.

When they said they couldn’t give me references because of confidentiality agreements with their clients, I nodded and smiled because I thought we were on the same page spiritually. And we trusted each other.

What I recognize now is that I was afraid they wouldn’t like me or wouldn’t want to work with me.

As I’ve been doing interviews for LIFT, I’ve discovered a lot of business owners are just like me in this regard.

Men tend to come at it from a slightly different perspective. They don’t ask the hard questions because they don’t want to look stupid as opposed to  not being liked.

What I’ve realized as I’ve been working on LIFT is that being willing to ask the hard questions is part of what it means to be a real deal serious eyes wide open business owner.

I got the opportunity to test this recently.

I attended a charity event a few weeks ago at John Assaraf’s house.

I was seated next to quiet man and his girlfriend, both of whom I had met at a SANG party hosted by Vishen Lakhiani several weeks earlier.

I’m a great believer in synchronicity and that there are no accidents, so I wondered why it was that the Universe wanted me to meet this guy.

After talking with him a bit, I discovered that from what he said he had the power to advance my business substantially.

If what he said was true. IF.

Now, in the past, I would have taken the fact that I met him at John Assaraf’s house and at Vishen’s part (two business men I greatly respect) as the only proof I needed that he was good people.

I would have been unwilling to ask the hard questions that would allow me to verify that truth because I’d be afraid if I did he wouldn’t want to work with me.

But, this time, I did it differently. And I have to tell you, it felt amazing.

After having a couple of conversations about what he could do for my business and hearing how much my investment would be to work with him, I thought about what I should do instead of saying yes right away.

I was aware that I felt fear about the engagement and decided to inquire into the fear within myself instead of ignoring it.

When I did, I recognized that:

1. the fee was going to be high, but definitely worth it IF he could do what I hoped and not a higher fee than I’d ever paid for coaching/consulting before and he’d be doing way more than coaching/consulting on this project;

2. I knew that I’d be able to deliver the goods on my end, if he came through with his part.

So, what was the fear?

The fear was a valid fear that said “Hey, Alexis, you don’t really know this guy at all.  He could be exactly who he says he is and be able to do what he says he can do or he could be another person who sees you as trusting and vulnerable. Are you going to blindly trust again?”

And that was right.  I didn’t really know anything about this guy other than I had met him at the parties of two people I greatly respected.  But, I hadn’t even asked these two people if they knew him or knew anything about him.

What’s that all about?

It’s something we do as business owners when we want so badly to believe and we are looking for magic bullets and don’t want to face reality.  You’ve heard it referred to before as self-sabotage, but maybe you didn’t really know what it looked like or couldn’t see it clearly in yourself.  Sometimes an example helps.

And since this is really what my LIFT program is all about (because we all teach what we most need to learn ourselves), it was time to put my money where my mouth is and stop the self-sabotage.  The only way I was going to do that is to stop being blind to what was right in front of me.

So instead of doing what I would normally do, I asked the hard questions.

I wrote him back and said:

“I’d like to talk to a couple people who can vouch that you guys are who you say you are and have the affiliate network.  I like you personally and believe you totally know what you are talking about, but I’ve made too many mistakes in the past where I have not been willing to verify people were who they said they were and then only after I committed to work with them found out it wasn’t all as it had seemed.  I 100% don’t believe that will happen in this case, but I’m all about doing business with your eyes open and not avoiding stuff because asking is hard (this is what my LIFT system teaches).  So, to honor that, I’d really appreciate the names/numbers of a couple peeps I could call.”

I’ve gotta tell ya, it was really hard for me to send that email.

Inside, as I was writing it I felt so stupid and full of shame.  Because it was hard for me to write it.  Because I thought of all the times that I made investment decisions without asking for something so simple.  Just because I did.

And yet this time, despite the feelings of shame and stupidity, I asked the hard questions anyway.

Within a few minutes, he had responded with a simple email giving me the names of two people to call.  No drama. No hurt feelings.

As I thought about it afterward, I realized of course there was no drama.  If there had been, I would have known that working with him was a big mistake right off the bat.

One of his references is a guy named Ian David Chapman, who I’ve seen here and there for some time. He’s a social media strategist and was kind enough to give me some of his time.  And he didn’t just tell me about his experience, but he helped me make a good decision as to whether this was the right person for my needs at this time based on where I am in my business.  He helped me to see a few things I wasn’t seeing.

Had I not been willing to ask the hard questions to begin with, I would have proceeded with this investment in the dark, like I have so many times in the past.  Then, I would have not had the results I expected and gotten all victim-y and blame-y about it.

For now on, I’m going to do more asking of hard questions and I hope thanks to my example that you’ll be inspired to do the same next time.

I’d love to hear about the last time you asked the hard questions and it was helpful and/or the last time you didn’t and wished you had.

Ever since I graduated from law school and began my 6-figure paycheck, big law firm job only to find out it wasn’t at all what I thought it was going to be, I’ve been asking “what’s my purpose? Why am I here?  What is this all about?”

Within recent months, it has all started to become more clear than ever before.

I recently began working with Tim Kelley, author of the book “True Purpose”. What’s interesting is I thought I had already found my life purpose and was doing it.

And yet, I felt drawn to Tim’s work.  What I now see is that his work is taking me to another, much deeper level of my purpose.

I can now see that every single thing that has ever happened in my life, both those things I deemed to be “good” and those things I deemed to be “bad”, all happened to prepare me to fulfill my purpose as I now understand it in this moment.

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

There was a part of me that always knew this day was coming and I would occasionally catch enough of a glimpse of the future to know it was possible that one day I would really and truly get how everything fit together.

I’m grateful that it’s finally here.

Years of frustration, wonder, worry, uncertainty and fear have evaporated.  There are still threads left, but 90% of the concern has disappeared from my awareness.

Ok, so now I’m going to tell you what I now understand to be my purpose, even though I feel slightly embarrassed when I write it out like this.

I am here to shine the light into the dark corners of your business and your life with absolute and total love, acceptance and support.

I make the hard things easier.

Specifically, at this moment in time, I am focusing this purpose around business by helping people take a look at the things we all avoid because they are hard - the difficult conversations, the business of your business, the financials, the legal stuff, the employee stuff, the partnership stuff, the pending business break-up.

You know, the hard parts of being a business owner.  The stuff I can’t stand either.  Office politics, drama, conflict.  Ick.

I take the ick out and help you to discover how whatever is happening in your business is your greatest opportunity for growth.

You really want to be a conscious business owner?  For real?

Then, you’ve got to open your eyes, wake up to the truth.  Shine the light into the darkness.  The part you’ve been avoiding because it’s too hard, painful, difficult, embarrassing, shameful, guilt-ful, to look at.

When you are willing to open your eyes and shine the light into the dark corners, you will naturally run your business from a more expanded and enlightened perspective.

It’s hard to be enlightened and aware with your eyes closed and the lights off, right?

Decisions become much easier. You no longer worry about getting taken advantage of or what’s real and what’s not.  When you can see, you know.

Boundaries are easily established and conflicts are handled with an open heart.

Wow, it feels great to finally get all this.  These, of course, are my personal greatest life lessons so far.

6 years ago, I was attending a workshop held by one of my early coaches.  Scott had brought in a purpose expert named Kevin M McCarthy, author of the On Purpose Person.  And he walked us through a process to help us discover our own purpose.

What came through to me back then made no sense in the context of my life at the time.  I had just started my own law firm.  I was committed to being a lawyer.  Helping my clients.  Making a difference in their lives.

But, when I did Ken’s process, I discovered my purpose was to “Shine the Light?!?”  Huh?

WTF?

I was a lawyer.  I didn’t know how to shine no stinkin’ light.  What was I supposed to do with that?  Shine the light?!? Um, ok.

But, there was a part of me that knew that was it and one day I’d figure out what it meant.

For the past 6 years, I’ve continued to put one foot in front of the other, learning how to move with my energy and get out of my own way.  It’s been a learning process for sure.  But, each step fo the way I trusted that if I just kept asking the right questions and moving forward, I’d one day get it.

And now I do.

Are you ready to know it too?  I know you are.  And you know you want it.

To begin, start to ask yourself what you’ve been avoiding.  What are the conversations you’ve had in your head, but you have held back from having with the person they really need to be with?  What are the things you know you need to do in your business, but haven’t done because they seem too hard?

Make a list of those things.  Bring them to awareness.  That’s all you have to do now.  It’s the first step and in some ways the most difficult.