And, I’m sure after reading this my mom will call me up to verify my memory.

But, I do know they were not on the same page financially … at all.  My dad was the kind of guy who thought of money as “easy come, easy go.”  If he had it, he spent it.  All of it. If he didn’t have it, that was okay too.  But, he’d be cooking up some way to get some.

There were times when I was a kid that our electricity would get turned off because my dad didn’t (or couldn’t) pay the bill.  We didn’t have health insurance.  I remember my mom wanting to take me to the orthodontist, but not being able to because we owed so much money on our account.

My mom came from a well off family who had been financially stable.  Not paying bills and going bare on the health insurance were not part of her programming.

So yeah, I’m sure they fought about money.

Tonight, I was reading my kids a book before bed and the main character was lamenting his parents fighting over money all the time and it brought back some memories for me.

Are you fighting over money with your spouse?  It’s one of the leading causes of family dysfunction so I wouldn’t be surprised if you are.

But what you might be surprised to hear is that your fighting is actually costing your family money. And if it’s not now, it will in the future.

Here you are, arguing over money when you could be taking that same energy and using it to create more money for your family.

Imagine that for a minute.  Add up all the minutes, hours and days you worry about money, fight about money and then worry some more.

What if you took that same energy and directed it into a creative endeavor that would bring more money into your family?

What if you could create something that would put an additional $5,000 in your family’s bank account in the next 60 days?  Would that change things for your family?  What about an additional $10,000?  Or more?

Guess what?  You can do that.  But, you need to stop fighting about money and redirect your energy to something within your control, like making more.

This week, I am in a conference all day on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  Then, Sunday, I am going to the LA Moms Blog launch party where we are going to be escorted by drivers and land on the faux red carpet. Hilarious.

Monday is my birthday and I’ll be driving down to San Diego to film my part in an inspirational movie that will come out in the Spring.

Tuesday through Thursday is the Michael Port event that I’m speaking at along with Dave.

Then, next Friday night Dave’s doing something special for my birthday. Don’t know what it is.  Just that I need to look pretty.

And finally, next Saturday night is the Agape International Spiritual Center anniversary and I’ll be going to a special dinner with Rev. Michael Beckwith and his wife Ricki Byars Beckwith at Shutters in Santa Monica.

Oh, and then, me and the kids are flying to Atlanta for Thanksgiving where my kids will be meeting Dave’s kids for
the first time!

A big few weeks to be sure. Whew, I need to rest up so I can be energized for all of it. Better get back in bed.

On the day we combined our bank accounts, I knew we were making a financial commitment to each other that would be difficult to unravel if things didn’t work out.
And they were.

Here’s a few things I wish I had known before we combined our finances:

1. Taxes

If you are married on the last day of the year, you will file a joint tax return for that whole year.  Even if you get married on December 31, you still file jointly for the whole year.  Yes, you can file as married people filing separately, but that’s not the same as filing two separate tax returns.  You are still taxed as a married couple.

This could save you money or it could cost you money.  Generally speaking, if you earn similar amounts of money, filing jointly will probably cost you more money.  If one of you earns substantially more than the other, it could save you money.

If you are getting married near the end of the year, run out the scenarios with your CPA or using an online tax calculator and consider whether you should postpone the official marriage date until after the 1st of the year.  I know that sounds weird, but if it could save you a lot on your taxes, go ahead and have the wedding, but wait to file the paperwork and make it official.

2. Combining Finances

It’s not always a great idea to combine your finances right away when you get married.  If you are both earning about the same amount of money and you don’t have any children on the way right away, keep your own separate accounts and agree to both contribute to a joint account, which you will pay family bills from.  Get used to this for a while before totally merging all of your accounts.

If one of you earns substantially less, you can adjust the contributions to the joint account pro rata.  If one of you plans to quit his or her job to stay home with the kids or otherwise take care of the family obligations, make sure you’ve discussed ahead of time how the non-breadwinner partner will have control over some of the family money for his or her personal expenses.

No matter what, make sure you each maintain at least one account that is your own account with your own money in it that is not under the control of the other partner.  Each partner needs to have their own financial autonomy even if one partner is the breadwinner and the other is not.  And, each partner should have their own individual credit cards in their names.

3. Community v. Separate Property

If you live in a community property state, all of the income you earn from your labor after you are married is considered community property, which means it belongs to both of you even if it is in a bank account with just the breadwinner’s name on it.  Any of the property you bring into the marriage with you remains your separate property, but only so long as you maintain it as separate property and don’t contribute it to the community.

If you put separate property into an account in both of your names, it becomes community property.  If you earn income on your separate property and that separate property has not been gifted to the community, the income is separate.

If you inherit money while you are married, that stays separate property, but only if you keep it in its own separate account and don’t mix it in with your family accounts.  Once you do, it’s community property.

4. Debt

Any debt you incur during your marriage, is very likely going to be debt owed by both of you, even if only one of you incurred it.  Yep, it’s sucky.  But, true.

So, before you get married and/or combine finances, each of you should show your entire hand. Create your personal net worth statements.  List out your assets and your liabilities.  Then swap the information.

Keep financial records of all assets owned during the month of marriage indicating current value of all assets and amount due on all debts.  This will come in handy if you end up getting divorced down the road and can save you tens of thousands of dollars in legal and accounting fees.

5. Estate Planning

Once you get married or even merely tie the financial knot, you need to get your estate plan in place.  Especially if you don’t have children yet, the law may not provide a default estate plan you’d be happy with.  In California, half of your assets could go to your spouse and half to your parents.  And, if you aren’t married, your whole estate could be left to your parents, leaving your life partner out in the cold.  Take the time to find out what would happen if you were incapacitated or died so you can make sure things would be as easy as possible for the one you love if anything happened to you.

Making the commitment to share a financial life with someone is a big step.  Before you tie the financial knot, make sure you are on the same page about what you want out of life and how you plan to grow, preserve and spend your family wealth.

Today, I want to share with you my secrets for having everything I want so that you can too.
 
First, you must understand that you are already a master at manifestation. Look around you and understand that everything around you right now has been created by you and your thoughts.
 
If you are not happy with what you see, take full responsibility for that, not from a place of shame or guilt, but from a place of empowered knowingness that because you have created it, you can also change it.

Next, become aware that the secret to having everything you want in life is first knowing what you want.

I find that this can be the most difficult step for most people because sometimes what we want feels too big and overwhelming.

For example, what I want more than anything is to have my own TV show.  In my heart, I’ve known that for years.  But, it’s only been in the last year or so that I could say that out loud and acknowledge it not only to the world, but to myself.

Why?

Because it was too big and scary.  What if I admitted it and then it didn’t happen? What if I wasn’t good enough?  What if …  What if … What if ….  Sound familiar?

Here’s the truth though.  Until I could admit it to myself and start to say it out loud, it would never happen.
 
Even though it’s what I wanted more than anything deep down inside. By keeping it hidden (from the world and from myself!), my mind made me believe I was safe from disappointment.  But that’s a lie, isn’t it? 

The first step to getting what you want is knowing what you want and broadcasting it as loudly as you possibly can.

The next step to getting what you want is to describe it fully as if it was already so.

So, here’s my description:

I want a TV show where I can guide people through life transforming events, whether it’s starting a business, leaving a relationship, resolving a family conflict … change is hard for most people. And yet, when guided through it, these events can be the catalyst for incredible life growth.  I want to facilitate that growth in an entertaining and inspiring way.  I want to show up at the studio around 10a for script review, hair and makeup. I want the show to tape at 2p or 3pPT each day from the Los Angeles area, preferably as close to Hermosa Beach as possible and I want to be out of the studio no later than 4pPT and on my way home. 
 
Can you see that happening?  I can!

Now the next step is the most important. You must take action to prepare yourself for getting what you want.

There were a lot of things I needed to do to prepare myself for my own TV show.  One of the hardest things was letting go of the things in my life that would conflict with what I wanted, like anything that would make me unavailable during taping hours, which mean that I had to stop seeing new clients at my law firm and bring in a partner to take over the day to day operations.  This was difficult because I had to let go of things I had become attached to that I thought I needed in my life when I didn’t have any guarantee of replacing those things. There’s a lot of faith involved with getting what you want.

Last, I had to begin to take actions that would lead me closer to what I wanted.

For example, I am not sitting around waiting for TV to come to me. I began to hold myself out as an expert.  I wrote a book.  I started to appear on radio programs. I began to build a platform. And now, I’m taping a pilot episode of a show.
 
It’s impossible to know which of these things will lead to my own TV show.  But, I know some of them will.  And the more I do that is aligned with my vision of what I want, the more likely I am to get what I want.

The same is true for you.  So, to recap, here’s the steps you can take to have everything you want in life:

Step 1:   Be aware that you are a master at manifesting and that you are creating everything in your life right now.

Step 2:  Admit to yourself what you want.  Then, broadcast it in some way to the people around you.  You can do this on a blog, by telling your close friends or family, or in some even bigger way.

Step 3: Describe the details of what you want as fully and specifically as possible.  This can be in writing, pictures or digital, just get a clear vision out of your head and onto something you can see.

Step 4:  Prepare yourself to have what you’ve described by letting go of those things that are in conflict with what you want.  Have the faith to let go even before what you want has appeared.

Step 5: Take the actions that will bring you closer to having what you want.

I decided that while I wait for CNBC to decide how they want to move ahead with me, I’d take matters into my own hands and take the action that would bring me closer to what I want.

If you want to look over my shoulder at how this pilot comes together, click here and you’ll get call-in details so you can watch what’s happening behind the scenes.

What Do You Want?

If you’ve ever wondered how I’ve created so much in my life and so quickly, today’s article will give you the step by step so you can have everything you want too.

“See” you on the pilot this afternoon!

Now here’s some greatness that is going to hugely benefit YOU if you live near LA, you are a business owner and you want to first class business building advice at a huge discount.

And, there’s no better time for it!

Michael Port is coming to LA in two weeks. You know who he is right?

If case you don’t, he’s the author of the international bestseller Book Yourself Solid, Beyond Booked Solid and The Contrarian Effect.

The Wall Street Journal called him a “marketing guru.” He’s been on TV more times than I can count and he’s headlined events with folks like Seth Godin, Jim Collins, Tony Robbins and Tom Peters. He’s also a good friend of mine and one of my personal business gurus.

Now here’s what’s super exciting.

So, he’s going to be in LA Nov. 18-21 (at the uber-stylish Sheraton hotel by LAX) giving two 2-day exclusive small group workshops. These workshops are typically by invitation only.

Well, here’s your invitation!

And, the most exciting part is that whether you attend the first or the second workshop (or even better BOTH), you get to attend two bonus sessions, one with me about protecting your personal assets from your business and your business from your personal actions and setting it all up in the right way from a legal perspective and the other with my other most favorite business guru, Dave Dee.

Dave’s workshop is titled: “Passion, Purpose & Prosperity Live: How to transform your knowledge and expertise into a million dollar a year business that helps other people!”

What’s really cool is that Dave is going to be streaming his presentation live via video on the Internet and you will be there for it live!

So, here’s the scoop:

On Nov. 18 and 19, Michael will be teaching you how to Book Yourself Solid (get as many clients or as much business as your heart desires).

On Nov. 20 and 21, he’ll be showing you how to get Beyond Booked Solid (finally, stop trading your time for money).

If you attend either one of the workshops, you can see me live and in-person (I rarely speak at live events anymore) on the 19th and you can be an audience member at Dave Dee’s live webcast event on the 20th.

Now, before I give you the link to check out the event I want to tell you about the great discount pricing I negotiated with Michael for you …register through the link below and get 60% off!

Yes, that’s right, Michael has agreed to let me invite you to attend either or both of the workshops at the “alumni rate.”  That means, you pay only $499 per workshop instead of the normal event price of $1199 (a steal even at that price, the $499 investment is a no-brainer!)

For only $499, you get inspired and meaningful training that will increase your business and your bottom line (so important in this economic climate) from Michael Port plus and Dave Dee, plus me giving you the straight scoop on what you need to set it all up and protect it the right way ……. Folks, it just does not get any better than this!

To learn more about what Michael will be teaching at the workshop go to:

http://www.regonline.com/bookedandbeyond-losangeles

While you are there, register for either or both of the 2-day workshops and you can attend my evening bonus session on the 19th and be in the audience for Dave’s live webcast on the 20th.

Yepper, get me and my two most favorite business gurus who have taught me the most about building my own wildly successful business.

When you register, be sure to select ALUMNI pricing, so you get each course for only $499 or both for less than the price of one regular priced course.

What a bargain!

Let me know if you have any questions.  Otherwise, I’ll see you on the 19th!
To Your Wealth, Health and Happiness,
Alexis

PS - Make sure you vote today!

PPS - Have you heard about my pilot of the Financial Freedom Hour, taping on Thursday?  There’s still time to participate, read all about it here: http://tinyurl.com/6eghex
 

On November 6, I’ll be taping a live pilot of the Financial Freedom Hour.

It’s an hour that will give you the tools for the financial freedom you’ve been craving.

I know you want to take control of your financial future and live the real American Dream, not the American Dream of big TVs, new cars and overpriced houses, but the dream of being your own boss, controlling your own destiny and having a
secure financial foundation beneath it all. 

If this is your dream, I hope you’ll join me on the pilot of the Financial Freedom Hour.

And, if you want to be a part of history and be one of the caller’s I work with on the pilot episode (which by the way may be heard by thousands of people and connect you with the resources you need to create your own American Dream)
read on to find out how you can participate.

Let me say this though before you agree to participate. This is a pilot. It’s never been done before. I have no idea if it’s going to work or what sorts of snafus may come up.

If you agree to participate, you are doing so at your risk. If you are not comfortable being involved in a new venture like this, you may just want to watch and not participate.

For details on how you can look over my shoulder as I try this experiment, go here and get all the call-in details for the live event. You don’t have to register, which means I won’t send you a reminder, so mark the date and time on your calendar so you can go behind the scenes with me and
watch the whole shebang unfold.

Now, here’s how you can do more than just look over my shoulder …

For the pilot, I will need four to eight callers, who will spend anywhere between 6 and 12 minutes on the line talking with me during the pilot episode.

If you’d like to be considered for the pilot, here’s what you do:

Send an email to Alexis@FamilyWealthMatters.com with the following information.

1. Name
2. Phone Number
3. Email address
4. City, State
5. Segment you’d like to be considered for
6. Question/issue you’d like me to help you with during the
pilot if you are chosen
7. Why you’d be an interesting
guest

Here are the four segments of the show:

Segment #1: Making the Leap.

Your are stuck. It might be a relationship, a financial situation, a house you want to get out of, or a job you can’t stand. You know there is something more to life, a bigger purpose, more meaning, something … but you have no idea how to get from here to there. During this segment, I will work with you to provide the inspiration, motivation and action plan you need to make the leap out of your old,
unfulfilling life into a new life full of promise, purpose and hope. 

Segment #2: You, Incorporated

You have a big dream of spending your time doing what you love and making a lot of money doing it, but you don’t know how to put it all together into a business model that will work. During this segment, I will turn to a master business psychic who is an expert at creating a legitimate, money-making business model for any idea, no matter how off the wall. This high-energy segment will include a lot of laughs and always ends with a mind-expanding vision of what’s possible. 

Segment #3: Business Breakthroughs 

You have your own business or you are a C-level executive at a small company. You are having some sort of a business challenge. It could be brining in new business, managing cash flow, having trouble with employees, fulfillment and distribution problems or sales problems or customer service problems. I
will put together an expert panel who will work with you until you have the business breakthrough you need.

Segment #4: Are You Wearing Clean Underwear?

You are wondering whether you have the right financial foundation set up for your life, your business and/or your family. You may have a question about business succession, asset protection, estate planning, naming legal guardians,
saving for retirement, saving for college or anything related to ensuring the right structures are in place to ensure your financial freedom in the event of a crisis. 

If you’d make a great caller for my pilot, please email alexis@familywealthmatters.com right away with all the details I need so we can get you lined up.

Please note, if you are chosen, you will need to be available on Thursday, November 6 from 2:45p Pacific Time through until 4:00p Pacific Time.

“See” you then!

Lots of love to ya,

Alexis

PS - Tomorrow’s the big day. Have you decided yet who you are voting for? Either way, you need to consider this before you do.

Yep, that’s what could happen if you don’t address your estate planning as part of your divorce … your ex could end up with everything or at the very least in control of everything. 

For most people going through a divorce, this is the last thing they want. It certainly was for me!

To make sure this doesn’t happen, you need to revamp your estate plan and create a new Will, Trust, Powers of Attorney and Health Care Directives during your divorce and not wait until afterwards. 

Revamp Your Estate Plan During Your Divorce Or Your Ex Could Get Everything (including control of your medical decisions!)

Here’s the truth: if you are in an accident during your divorce, it’s your soon to be ex who will be making  your health care decisions, who will be in control of your money, and will inherit everything if you die unless you have new documents drafted.

Your estate planning lawyer should be one of the first calls you make when you file for divorce.
 
While your divorce is pending, your estate planning lawyer can prepare a divorce Will (a temporary Will that ensures your soon to be ex won’t inherit from you if you die), create a new Trust to receive the assets that you will receive after the divorce is final and update your health care directives and powers of attorney.  One thing to be careful of though is not to move any of your assets into your new Trust until after your divorce is final or until your divorce lawyer gives you the go-ahead.

Once the divorce is final and you know which assets you are receiving, you should then revisit your estate planning lawyer and get a new plan in place that will be established to cover what you have been given as part of the divorce and help you plan for your financial future.

Change Your Beneficiary Designations

You also want to make sure to review all of your beneficiary designations after your divorce. This is absolutely critical and often overlooked. And, you need to do it even if your divorce agreement says your ex won’t receive any benefits. If you don’t change your beneficiary designations, your agreement may be superseded!

There’s actually a case pending in the United States Supreme Court right now about this very thing.  Husband and wife got divorced and husband never changed his beneficiary designation on his pension account.  Then, Husband died.  The pension administrator paid the benefits to his ex-wife, as indicated by the beneficiary designation.  Husband’s daughter from a prior marriage sued for the benefits claiming that the ex-wife had given up her rights to the pension in the divorce agreement.  The first Court heard the case and agreed.  The appeals Court heard the case and disagreed, saying that the beneficiary designation trumped the divorce agreement. Now, the final answer will come from the Supreme Court.
 
You don’t want to put your family through this. So update your beneficiary designations.

Review Your Life Insurance Provisions.

If you have any kind of a requirement in your marital settlement agreement that life insurance should be maintained on the life of either spouse for the benefit of the children, you should have this provision reviewed by your estate planning lawyer.

We’ve seen so many provisions like this that are just not well thought out. For example, a provision that says “Husband shall maintain life insurance having an aggregate death benefit of $250,000 for the benefit of the minor children” sounds great, right?  But, this is just the kind of provision that provides no protection for the minor children at all.

How long does the insurance have to be maintained?  What type of insurance has to be used?

Can Husband just get a cheap 1 year term policy that needs to be renewed each year?

What if he gets ill and becomes uninsurable? Who should be the beneficiary of the policy?

An effective provision should provide the type of insurance and the minimum length of time it must be in force, specific ratings requirements for the insurance company and whether the policy should be in trust or payable to a trust.  Your estate planning lawyer can help to identify these issues where even a very good divorce lawyer may overlook them.

Bottom line … your divorce has real, meaningful implications for your estate plan. I know it’s not something you want to think about and yet if you don’t, you and your family could end up very, very sorry you didn’t.