I hope you are enjoying the holidays this year. I am more than I ever have before. This year I’m not getting caught up in family drama.

Instead, I’m watching it and learning from it. And, today I’m sharing some of what I’ve learned with you.

My family is still in town and today I’m with my sister and my grandmother, who we call nan.

Growing up, nan was my savior. She saved me from my parents constantly.

I ran to her whenever I felt misunderstood and because I was one of those “troubled” teenagers, Nan and I were (and still are) close.

Lately, my mom and my nan have been getting into fights.

Nan is now 80 something, has a broken arm and is scared of dying. Asking for help reads all her old scripts from growing up as the second oldest of four kids with no father during the depression.

Don’t ask for help. Be strong. Don’t be a burden. Make your own way.

My mom doesn’t voluntarily offer help because she’s in abject fear of losing the freedom she has now that her children are grown and no longer need her.

Their corresponding fears lock them into a consistent battle of unhappiness and blame.

While observing the game my mom and Nan unconsciously play with each other, I learned some life-changing lessons that will no doubt improve my future.

Wanna find out what they are?

Go on over to my blog and read all about them. http://www.familywealthblog.com.

And, while you’re there, scroll down to the post from December 21, 2006 title “Revealed - Secret Formula for Success” where you’ll read what I re-discovered last week when talking with a friend of mine who is about to hit it big in the entertainment industry!

I hope what I’ve learned carries you through the rest of the holidays with peace and love.

Dedicated to Your Family’s Well-Being,

~ Alexis

PS - If you are not a client of Martin Neely & Associates and you have minor children, they are at risk if something happens to you EVEN IF YOU ALREADY HAVE A WILL OR TRUST. Learn how easy it is to have the peace of mind of knowing your children will never be taken out of your home or raised by anyone you wouldn’t want, by going to http://www.kidsprotectionplan.com now.

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If you’ve come across my blog in some other way, you should subscribe too. And, I’d suggest you head on over to the Family Wealth Planning Institute website and sign up for my weekly Family Wealth Tips.

Here are three of the lessons I got to learn from spending time with my family this week. Enjoy!

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If the answer is no, you’ll find some other way to get what you need. But, at least you will get what you need. If instead, you choose to not ask for help because someone might say no, you will definitely not get what you need.

2. Don’t get caught up in what others are thinking unless you truly KNOW what they are thinking. I no longer assume that anyone’s mood has anything to do with me. I used to take it personally when someone around me was in a bad mood. Now, I don’t. And, I never think they are unhappy with me unless they’ve directly told me they are.

3. Choose to be happy instead of right. If I get caught up in whether I’m right, I tend to find myself very unhappy. Consider whether it REALLY matters before you get locked into your position. Ask yourself, would I rather be happy or right?

At 80 something, my nan has taken these lessons under consideration. And, I hope you will too. If she’s willing to consider changing her thinking to be happier, you can certainly do the same.

I discovered the secret formula for success tonight and posted about it on the Family Wealth Planning Blog where I write about my business.

But, I realized it’s really something that can help anyone who reads it.

Please, only go read about the Secret Formula for Success that Brad Pitt and Mark Victor Hansen both know if you are willing to do whatever is necessary to reach your dreams. I really want this information shared with people who are going to put it into use.

I was in a yoga class tonight in Santa Monica (www.julianwalkeryoga.com if you want to check it out) and I’ve never practiced so close to other people in my life.

Literally, we were mat to mat.

But, you know what, the energy in the room was off the charts.

I cried.

You must think that’s weird, right? Crying in yoga? It’s actually quite amazing. Cleansing.

And, if you think that’s weird, you should have heard all the moaning in the room.

Now, I like that sort of thing. In fact, my friends always giggle when they do yoga with me because I’m kind of loud. But, I was a doormouse compared to the moaners in this class.

I actually have a point here.

It’s this. You’ve got to be willing to step outside your comfort zone to grow.

Now, I’m not saying you have to cry in yoga or anything, but stretch yourself a little bit this holiday season.

• Give more than you normally do.
• Open your heart more than you normally do.
• Do something you’ve been wanting to do, but you’ve been afraid of.

And, when it starts to get uncomfortable, go a little farther and welcome the discomfort; it means that great things are on their way.

Living inside the zone of discomfort is Step #5 in my 5 Steps to Identify and Realize Your Dreams.

And, I believe it’s also the most important step. When I look back at everything I’ve done in my life that I’m really proud of, it’s all been preceded by fairly intense discomfort.

So, this holiday season - embrace it!

Happy holidays!

Dedicated to Your Family’s Well-Being,

~ Alexis

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We had a breakthrough in my house a couple of days ago.

Kaia is seven now and she still spends quite a bit of time whining and crying when she doesn’t get her way.

I’m sure you know just what I’m talking about. But, mmmmmooooommmmm, pleeeeaaaasssseeee! I want to [insert whatever she wants or doesn’t want here].

As soon as I heard the whiny voice my shoulders would tense up and I couldn’t hear anything she was saying, which would invariably frustrate her even more.

I’m sure you’ve been stuck in just such a pattern before.

You want someone to do something or not do something. They want to do just the opposite and instead of having a rational talk about it, you each have an emotional response and you can no longer hear each other.

So, two days ago, as soon as I heard her whining start, rather than retreating into my own frustration, I took a breath. And, I realized I had to teach her a better way to get what she wants.

I told her that if she took a breath I could help her get what she wanted. She seemed to think that sounded like a good idea and calmed down so she could hear me. Phew!

I told Kaia all she had to do was give me a reason that I should agree to what she was asking for.

She wanted to play a game with me, I wanted to read books and get in bed. I was tired!

Kaia’s first attempt at reason - Mom, I’ll give you a thousand kisses.

Well, that’s very nice but it’s not convincing me. I’m tired and want to get to sleep. A thousand kisses aren’t going to get me there. I explained to her she had to show me why her plan would not mean I would have to stay awake longer.

Ok, mom, I’ve got it. We can play one game and then read one book instead of reading three books. Mom, I really want to play a game with you while Noah’s sleeping because when he’s awake we don’t get to play.

Who can argue with that?

She’s shown me that I won’t have to stay up any longer AND has expressed to me a very good reason I should play with her now rather than waiting until tomorrow.

My daughter is on her way to becoming a master negotiator. I can’t imagine a better skill for her to have.

So, next time you feel yourself having an emotional response to someone who seems to be standing in your way, take a breath, and try and find the common ground that will serve both of your end results.

Have a fantastic rest of your week!

Dedicated to Your Family’s Well-Being,

~Alexis

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How often have you gotten really close to something you’ve been working towards or really wanted and right when you were about to be successful turned your back on it?

It’s possible that you’ve done this a number of times throughout your life and don’t even know it happened.

How do I know?

Because it’s happened to me. Each time I’ve been really close to a big breakthrough in my business or my personal life, I’ve been tempted to abandon ship right before the breakthrough occurred.

It’s human nature.

And, it’s the reason that most people are not as successful as they want to be.

The universe has a way of challenging us to find out whether we are really worthy of the success that is coming our way or whether we really want what it is we’ve been working towards.

Think of the gold miner who spent years and years mining for gold only to abandon his mine in defeat and have it picked up by the next guy who struck it rich.

This doesn’t have to happen to you.

One of the best ways I know of to stay on the ship when your mind is telling you to jump off, is to read the inspirational tales of others who have persevered to the realization of their dreams.

If they can do it, you can too!

Dedicated to Your Family’s Well-Being,

~ Alexis

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