Michael Jackson’s Death: A Universal Wakeup Call for Unprepared Parents
If anything good comes out of Michael Jackson’s untimely death at all, it will be the universal wake-up call to parents around the globe that says, “You must name guardians for your children in the event of your death of incapacity!”
With a custody battle brewing between the Jackson Family, Michael’s nanny and the biological mother of Michael’s children (who might not be the biological mother after all according to reports), in addition to the battle between creditors over his estate, news outlets are finally reporting on the absolute necessity of estate planning for all families with children and what the absence of it means for parents across the globe.
Parents rich and poor, young and old must realize it’s time to put the “It won’t happen to me” or “I’ll worry about it later” mentality aside when it comes to estate planning and doing what’s necessary to protect your kid’s well-being and care if, and when you can’t be there.
Michael Jackson had a slew of lawyers who handled his affairs. You would think someone, somewhere would have taken the time to explain exactly what would happen to his children and his assets if he passed away suddenly—or even found himself unable to care for the kids due to his drug addiction or complications from Lupus.
Clearly, if Michael Jackson’s estate planning could fall through the cracks, imagine the millions of people that would find themselves legally unprepared should the worst happen to them or someone they love. Maybe even you.
Unfortunately, you cannot predict how or when you will die- but you absolutely can dictate how your children and your assets will be handled after your death with advanced legal planning.
One of the common myths about estate planning is that “It’s just for rich people” or “it’s only necessary for old people”— neither of these excuses can be any further than the truth!
The truth is … if you have a child, whether you have $10 or $10 million dollars, you MUST at a bare minimum name legal guardians for your child in the event of your inability to care for them. Naming guardians includes both short term guardians for the immediate term and long-term guardians.
It doesn’t matter how old you are or how close you are with your family, if you don’t put guardianship decisions in writing, your child could end up in the middle of a very messy custody battle—or even worse—in the care of the state foster system!
Naming guardians for kids is so vitally important that we’ve created a free website at kidsprotectionplan.com so parents can name guardians free of charge without even stepping foot into a lawyer’s office.
And for those people who now realize they need something more comprehensive to make life as easy as possible for their family, we’ve trained Personal Family Lawyers throughout the United States to provide families and small business owners access to an affordable lifetime relationship with a personal lawyer in their own neighborhood.
And because of the affordable nature of these resources (or FREE nature in the event of kidsprotectionplan.com ), there is no excuse for leaving your family a huge mess like Michael Jackson’s family will have to deal with in the event of your death or incapacity.
So, use this horrible event as a wakeup call and take control of your future and that of your kids! Don’t wait another day to document exactly who you want to raise your children if something happens to you before they can care for themselves. Take the time to document the values you’d want passed on to your kids and how you’d want them to be raised if you were no longer around.
Do these things NOW before it’s too late, or the court may end up making these choices for you, to the detriment of your kids. And share this article with a friend or family member who has little kids at home. They’ll thank you for it.
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Wealth Secret: Release the Drama
We’ve become so conditioned by reality TV that these days it’s difficult to recognize when we are getting sucked in by drama. And yet the insidious nature of drama can very easily take us off our life course and stick us in a pattern of reactivity that doesn’t serve us or anyone else.
The challenge is that our own reactions that cause the drama in the first place are so unconscious and habitual that we can’t see what’s happening even when it’s pointed out to us.
Here’s the good news. If you can learn to become aware of the areas where you’ve instigated drama (especially where you believe someone else was the instigator) or simply reacted to drama happening around you—and make a conscious choice not to do that anymore—you will increase your financial, emotional and spiritual wealth in ways you’ve never thought possible.
A recent example from my own life.
Last week, a friend’s son, Reese, was playing at my neighbor’s house and one of the girls who live there excluded him. It’s possible it wasn’t one of the girls at all, but one of their friends. Nevertheless, someone excluded him.
He was really upset and on the verge of tears when he came to let me know what had happened.
My first inclination (reaction) was to sympathize (commiserate) with Reese and march across the street and gave that little girl a talkin’ to. (In fact, that’s exactly what his mom did a little bit later – more about that in a minute).
Instead, I made a conscious decision to stop and think about what I really wanted to accomplish. And, I can assure you, it was quite difficult not to just react. But, I took a minute, thought and recognized that if I made a big deal about it and acted if there was something wrong, Reese would think there was something wrong, and my guess is, he’d blame himself.
Instead, I thought about times this Reese “excluded” Kaia. He had a friend around that he wanted to play with and he didn’t want to play with her. I asked him to think about those times and what he was thinking and feeling when that was happening.
He thought about it and said that it just meant he wanted to play with his friend without Kaia. I asked if that meant he didn’t like Kaia or never want to be around her again—and he said “of course not, I just want to play alone with my other friend sometimes.” I went on to ask him, “So what do you think Kaia should do when you don’t feel like playing with her?” to which he responded, “Well she should just go play something else”.
Instantly, the light bulb went on and he realized that was exactly what he should do in this situation. Drama defused.
That is until this Reese’s mom came home, heard what happened, didn’t pause to think and marched right over to the neighbors house to let them know that their daughter was excluding her son. Later she found out it wasn’t the little girl that excluded him after all and she got chewed out by the girl’s father when she went back to apologize.
So now this mom has drama in the neighborhood, which could have been avoided if she’d taken a step back and processed the situation internally, recognized that it wasn’t a big deal at all and moved on with her life.
Frequently, instead of dealing with our own pain internally, we unconsciously (or consciously) think it’s a good idea to reach out, react or spout off and we’re forced to live out the negative consequences of those actions.
So let’s learn from this scenario and from now on strive to only speak of those things which bring joy, happiness, love or peace to the world. If you have a strong desire to reach out and tell someone about how they’ve harmed you, first seek to resolve that hurt internally and see if perhaps the desire to reach out dissipates.
In each moment we need to look at our own responsibility and consciously determine whether to react or not react. If we can practice non-reaction, which means you will process your hurts and pain inside first, your wealth will increase by leaps and bounds.
But if you choose the drama, you will lose every time— financially, emotionally and spiritually.
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Creating Life on Your Terms Part 3: How to Manifest Your Dreams with Words and Actions
Over the past few weeks, I’ve shared with you the first steps of manifestation and how to create life on your terms once and for all. Before we go on, make sure you are practicing step one and you’ve made a list of all the things you really do want in your life.
By now you should be very clear on what you truly desire for your life, even if your dreams seem selfish, unrealistic or totally out of reach.
And by now you should also be seeing in your mind and feeling in your body what it would be like to pay off your credit cards, drive a car that no longer breaks down, take that dream vacation to Maui with your family, or whatever else is on your list.
If you need a refresher on how to work through this first step of the manifestation process, please refer back to my earlier article in this manifestation series: acknowledging what you want.
If you feel comfortable with step one and you are ready to see your dreams become reality, then let’s move on to the remaining steps which are:
2. Manifest Your Dreams with Words and Actions
Once you have gotten as clear as you possibly can on what you really do want in your life, the next step to create life on your terms™ is to begin moving these desires into the physical realm through your words and actions.
I’m sure you’ve heard by now about creating a vision board where you cut out pictures of things you’d like to have in your life and put them on a board that you can look at throughout the day to remind you of what you want.
That’s definitely great place to start, but that’s not the only way to do it. During this part of the manifestation process you might paint a picture, write music or simply tell everyone you know about your vision. Each one of these works as well as the vision board.
Here’s a recent example from my own life to help you understand what I mean.
Ever since I moved to California and discovered the Hermosa Beach walkstreets (10 flat streets that are perpendicular to the beach that no cars can drive on), I’ve wanted to live there.
Yet every time I’d think about it, my mind would automatically say, “Sorry Alexis, you can’t afford to live on a walkstreet.
Houses there are a minimum of two million dollars and that is NOT in your budget right now”.
After learning about the process of manifestation, I began to overcome these thoughts and recognize them for what they were - conditioned thoughts that had no basis in Reality, the reality that governs the Universe rather than our everyday circumstances.
So instead of dismissing my dreams and feeling defeated, I took action.
First, I set a timer for 5 minutes and wrote out everything I wanted my “dream house on the beach” to be. I specifically wanted to live on a walkstreet in Hermosa Beach a block from the ocean. I wanted 3 bedrooms, wood floors and the rent/mortgage would need to be under $3,000 a month (which again, seemed impossible considering the area). I also wanted it on the north side of the street because that was the side that got the most sun throughout the day.
And while this dream seemed impossible by anyone’s standards, I found the perfect house within weeks of writing out my description. 3 bedrooms, wood floors, rent of $2,700 a month, the Pacific Ocean within steps of my door and it was even on the north side of the street! This was just the beginning.
I used the same process to find my next house (even better!), manifest a fantastic relationship and many, many other wonderful events and opportunities that have come into my life.
3. Stay Open for the Opportunities
Here’s the key to all of it though. It’s not enough to get clear on what you want and then write it down or pain the picture. This last step is most important. You need to stay open for the opportunities that will allow your manifestation into your life.
With the house, that meant actively looking in the local paper for properties each week and even driving through the area I wanted to live to see what was for rent. When the perfect place appeared, I was there to see it!
But I also want you to remind you that the universe may send something that “appears” to be the right thing, but isn’t. In fact, you will always be given tests and if you settle for less than you really want, guess what you get! So stay open to the opportunities–but do not settle. Stay focused on what you really want and have faith that you will attract it with your open anticipation and action-taking when you follow the process of manifestation and create life on your terms!
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Creating Life on Your Terms Part 2: Using the Process of Manifestation to Obtain Your Dreams
A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you the beginning process of creating life on your terms. That part of the process focused on clearing the way to allow possibilities into your life.
Today, we are putting it into action. Creating life on your terms is 
easy, when you know the formula and you’ve practiced it for a while. There are some key places I see people get hung up pretty consistently, so we’ll cover those too.
You may be thinking, “Alexis, I’ll never see life on my terms until I hit the lottery….. or get over this illness……or break out of this unhappy marriage”.
Well, friend, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to wait for the perfect situation to live life on your terms! In fact, I’m going to show you how to create life on your terms regardless of what your circumstances are right now through the process of manifestation.
Now, before you dismiss what I’m about to say as woo-woo out there stuff, take a breath and listen. This works. It’s worked for me over and over and over again for the past 5 years. It’s required patience and perseverance.
What I can tell you is that 6 years ago I was stuck in an unhappy marriage, working in a job I didn’t like, living in an 850 square foot house and felt totally stuck. Today, I work from home running a million dollar company, live in my dream home with an ocean view, drive a Mercedes that I’m only paying $400/month for, I’ve healed my relationship with my now ex-husband, have full custody of my kids and no longer have to pay huge child support or alimony. I’m in a relationship with a man I love and I get to build businesses with and have great adventures with. He’s exactly what I asked for.
All of it is attributable to the biggest single Wealth Secret I can share with you … the power of manifestation.
Understanding Manifestation as a Key Wealth Secret
The process of manifestation requires serious work on your part. I don’t want to mislead you into thinking it’s an overnight process or that everything you want will drop in your lap with no effort on your part. What I can tell you is that if you persevere and keep your eye on the prize - everything you want!- the rewards are immeasurable.
And, once you learn to harness the power of manifestation, you can use it in every area and aspect of your life.
So let’s get into the process of manifestation and discuss how you can use it to create life on your terms™.
1. Acknowledge What You Want
The first step to unleashing the process of manifestation is to get very clear with what you want in your life. The more specific you are with your desires, the more effective this process will be.
So I want you to sit down and really think about what it is that you want at this point in your life and just spend some time acknowledging it.
This can be the most difficult part of the whole process. It can be difficult to really own up to what we want. It seems so big and unmanageable and impossible that we cut it off because our biggest fear is that we’ll want it and then not get it.
Here’s an example of what that looks like in my life:
There’s nothing I’ve wanted more than to be able to be a present hands-on mommy for my children. But, because I thought it was impossible (I am the breadwinner in our family), I cut off that desire. Instead of acknowledging my desire to be a hands-on mommy, I focused my energy on finding other people to take care of my kids and told myself I love working 14-16 hours a day.
That was a lie. A lie I told myself that kept me from getting hurt by wanting something so badly and then not getting it.
What I really wanted was to be a hands-on mommy, raising my kids with my values, my experiences, my teachings. And once I acknowledged that, which took me a long time to do, I could begin to create a life that would allow for that.
So, the starting place is get out a pen and a pad of paper and write down everything you want in life. Begin by going through a mental review of your day. If you could make your life look anyway you wanted from the moment you woke up until you got back in bed at the end of the day, what would your day look like?
When you open your eyes, what would you see?
When you get up to go to the bathroom, what do you see?
What does your first meal of the day consistent of?
Who makes it?
Where do you eat it?
Who is with you during all of this?
Go through your day in that level of attention and detail and write down everything you want to experience.
Who is there? What are you doing? Where are you?
Resist the mind blocks that will come up that say “you can’t have that.” Thank your mind for sharing and bring your attention back to what you really want without restriction. Make this as big as you can possibly imagine and let the desire for even what feels impossible in to your fantasy.
Remember-you aren’t making any decisions as you get clear on what you want; rather, you are just getting comfortable with what you really desire that you’ve been blocking up until now. So relax and do some old fashioned soul searching before you move on to the next step.
Most importantly - DO NOT JUDGE whatever comes up for you.
It could be that what you really want is a lavish lifestyle. Or perhaps, you really want simplicity. It’s all right. This is your life you are creating. No one else’s.
Maybe you want to pay off your credit cards in 6 months or sell your house and move somewhere you’ve always wanted to live. Maybe you want to travel around the world. Maybe you want to go live on an Ashram in India or a Kibbutz in Israel. Perhaps you want to stay right where you are and just have more freedom in your life. Great! Whatever it is, get as clear as you can on what that looks like before we move on to the next step.
I was going to give you all three steps today, but step 1 seems pretty big on its own. So, where’s what we are going to do.
I’m giving you this next week to get step 1 done. It can take that long to get through this part of the process. Don’t shortchange yourself here. Work through what you really, really want - keep a manifestation journal with you at all times and as you gain an awareness of something you want, jot it down in there.
And then I’ll see you next week with the other two parts of the process for manifesting everything you want in your life.
Oh and by the way, begin to welcome the experiences where you get to see exactly what you don’t want! Sometimes that’s the very best way to get clear on what you want … by seeing and experiencing what you don’t. So, the next time you are experiencing something you don’t want, instead of getting angry and looking for someone to blame, be grateful and as I tell my kids allow it to focus you on what you do want. Jot it down in your notebook and you are one step closer to creating life on your terms™.
For now, just do that. As I tell my kids when they are freaking out because they don’t have something, focus on what you want.
After you’ve done that for a while and practiced that and gotten good at it, we can talk about the next step. Perhaps you won’t even need the next step because just that will attract more than you can imagine.
Let me know and I’ve give you another practice next week.
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What Wealth Secret Does Kate Gosselin Know That You Should Know?
The media is having a field day with the stars of the TLC reality television show “Jon and Kate Plus 8” claiming that the family (more specifically Kate) is exploiting their children in exchange for fame and fortune.
This issue was most recently addressed by MSNBC reporter Courtney Hazlett, who penned a rather scathing article entitled “Jon and Kate Exploit their 8” that read:
If the Gosselins wanted the alleged cheating issue off the table, they’ve gotten their wish. Unfortunately, the dialogue about “Jon & Kate Plus 8” has shifted to a subject that’s almost (if not more) troubling: Whether the “Plus 8” are being exploited.
Of course they are.
Look no further than the show’s title for the most obvious evidence. The “Plus 8,” who are every bit as responsible for the show’s success as their dubiously motivated parents, have been reduced to a single unit. It’s essential to headline writing and show marketing, but who can name them all? It just doesn’t feel right that Cara, Mady, Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah and Joel get none of the benefits and all of the objectification that comes with unscripted programming. Worse yet, they aren’t totally willing participants …
With all due respect to Ms. Hazlett and my readers, if you feel that Kate Gosselin is exploiting her kids for money, corporate sponsorships, trips and other perks—stop and take a good hard look at the reality behind the reality show.
Before Jon and Kate they had their children Jon worked as an IT analyst and Kate as a registered nurse. At top salaries in their industries, Jon would have brought in approximately $75,000 annually and Kate around $60,000.
That’s a combined income of $135,000—a comfortable income for a family of 3 or maybe 4—but definitely NOT 8.
Let’s not forget the cost of childcare in this equation if both Jon and Kate worked outside of the home. The bill for in-home nannies or daycare stays would be ASTRONOMICAL and far exceed the income Jon and Kate would bring in doing their traditional careers. Not to mention that it’d be incredibly difficult to find a caretaker for all 8 children, especially considering it doesn’t appear either of their immediate families are on the scene.
Now, put yourself in Kate’s shoes. It’s clear that Jon is pretty much incapable of taking responsibility for supporting his family. He can’t even take responsibility for his own happiness. How is Jon going to support 9 other people?
So like every working mother who desperately cares for her children and wants to ensure their daily well-being while being as present as possible in their lives on a day to day basis, Kate figured out a way to make it happen for her family.
What better way to spend as much time as possible with your kids while also earning enough money to meet the vast needs of 8 children?
And while it may disturb you when Kate refers to the show and the “brand” of “Jon and Kate Plus” (or maybe Kate Plus 8 ) as her family business, we can’t diminish the fact that Kate’s kids will grow up having their mother’s presence in a way they never would if she was trying to raise them on a nurse’s salary.
Other than travel for press appearances and her book tour, Kate is home with her children constantly.
Kids aren’t fakers. The Gosselin kids are happy, intelligent and wonderful children. Kate seems to be doing a pretty darn good job. And she’s looking at needing to step it up even more because it appears Jon is on his way out.
So I say give Kate and her family a break.
Of course Kate’s marriage is on the rocks. Jon is miserably unhappy and blaming everyone around him for it instead of taking responsibility for his happiness and doing something about.
What can you learn from Jon and Kate? Perhaps whatever they trigger within you can provide you with some insight into yourself and what you really want out of life.
Maybe if you are an employed outside the home mom and you see Kate as exploiting her kids and that outrages you, maybe it’s not Kate you are outraged at, but yourself. Maybe your outrage means that you really want to be home with your kids more. Let in that possibility.
If you are a stay at home mom and you get a charge from Kate’s travel without her kids maybe what you really long for is to be away, for just a night.
And if your charge comes from Jon and Kate’s relationship, take a look at that. Do you see parallels in your relationship? Are you unhappy like Jon? Can you relate?
What does any of this have to do with your wealth? The more you can move out of judgment of other people’s lives and go within to find the nucleus of your own beliefs about yourself, the more freedom you will find in every area of your life, especially in your wealth.
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Wealth Secrets: We Need to Talk About Your Wealth Shame
After sharing about my recent trip to Maui, I received the following email from one of my subscribers:
“Alexis, I am on your mailing list. Thanks for all the information I love this kind of thing. However, I have a twinge every time you tell me about your next vacation. There are many people who may or may not get this that just lost their job, were laid off, hours cut back, losing their homes, etc. and your vacation…??!! I think I would just say you are going to be at a mastermind meeting. I am super sensitive to this as I have clients who are really in dire straits and this economy has hurt deep…and I would hate for them to stop reading when they are probably not going to get a vacation and may lose their car or their house.”
Before I go on, let me ask you – can you relate? How do you feel when I talk about the abundance I’m experiencing in my life? Do you get a twinge or maybe something even stronger? Do you wish I would stop sharing about these things or are you drawn to read more and more about it?
Whatever you feel, pay attention. This charge (whether positive or negative) is an indication of what you really want more of in your own life. I spoke in depth about this on my last Play a Bigger Game Call and how to use this charge to really create life on your terms.
Back to the email I received from my subscriber. I don’t believe the gal who wrote this email had a negative intent. She clearly had my best interests at heart and those of her clients. She’s a caring person.
What she doesn’t realize though is how this kind of a message hurts her own wealth. And it’s seriously turning into a nationwide epidemic.
In fact, because of this kind of sentiment being expressed, wealthy people are actually experiencing wealth shame and hiding their wealth!
Chances are that like my subscriber, you are playing into this dynamic. You are either hiding your wealth and feeling ashamed of it or you are perpetuating the idea that wealthy people should be playing smaller and hiding the details about their vacations, their purchases, their lifestyles.
Which category do you fall in?
I’ll admit it. For a long time, I was one of those people who would read about other people’s successes and experience a negative charge. I’d feel angry, or put off, or annoyed. In my mind, I would create this whole scenario about how there was something wrong with them for flaunting their wealth.
This came up a lot for me before I hired my current mentor, Ali Brown. Ali frequently talks about her lifestyle. And when I first began to read this, I was not having the kind of lifestyle I wanted at all!
I was stuck in an unhappy marriage. I was working 6-7 days a week. I was stressed out. And hearing about Ali’s life was just annoying.
As I began to do my own internal work, I discovered this annoyance was holding me back from manifesting everything I really wanted in my life. This negative charge I experienced was actually a signal to me about what I really wanted in my own life and that by allowing the negative knee-jerk reaction, I was blocking my own abundance.
Once I was able to recognize and acknowledge this, I began to notice when I felt annoyed and I asked myself … are you really annoyed or could it possibly be envy you are feeling? Is this really something you want in your life?
When the answer was yes, I would celebrate. I would consciously say “thank you Universe for showing me what’s possible in my life.”
Today, I’m living a life very similar to Ali’s. It never would have happened if I had kept pushing it away.
So for now on, when someone is talking about an amazing vacation or home or car or work schedule or anything else that you feel annoyed, angry, or in any way negative about when you see it, look beneath that feeling. Ask yourself if it’s possible that you would also like that very thing yourself or for someone you know. Really dig down. And if so, make a mental note of thanks and blessing for showing you what’s possible.
If it brings up feelings of judgment that they shouldn’t be flaunting their wealth, just passively notice those feelings that come up and realize it’s very likely an indication of what you what—or what you want OTHERS to experience in life (this can apply to people beyond yourself).
And if you can move through those feelings and hang with this process of becoming aware, you’ll find your life at the most amazing place. You’ll be manifesting (which we’ll discuss next week) so much prosperity in your own life that you can use it to help the people in your life who are struggling to get by—in addition to rewarding yourself.
But that will never happen if you don’t move through the initial charge to get there. Realize your mind is only telling you there’s something wrong with taking a vacation or getting a new car, or buying a house because it’s protecting you from the disappointment of wanting something you think you can’t have.
Next week I am going to teach you exactly how to focus this charge to get what you want in life, physical or not (which could mean a new car, a baby, a relationship or the ability to be a stay-at-home mom), but until next time I want to challenge you to just be more aware of your feelings. Accept them for what they are and bring them back next week so I can show you how to use these negative feelings in a positive way to create life on your own terms!
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Wealth Secret: 3 Steps to Creating Life on Your Terms
The idea of “creating life on your terms” seems almost impossible as the news media bombards us DAILY with stories of layoffs, foreclosures and record losses in the stock market.
They tell you that you CAN’T have life on your terms because consumers aren’t buying, banks aren’t lending and the opportunity to be a bootstrapping-success just isn’t available anymore.
But let me be the first to tell you that creating life on your terms is NOT something that is dictated by the media or any other naysayer in your circle of influence.
How do I know that?
Well, besides the fact that my own company is growing by leaps and bounds while I spend time raising my kids, just last week, smack-dab in the middle of a recession, 3 of my students in the Dave and Alexis coaching program experienced tremendous success during each of their first product launches.
We are are living life on our terms in spite of the economy. And, YOU CAN DO THIS TOO.
We aren’t special or extraordinarily gifted to succeed. We’ve simply learned how to do what every other successful entrepreneur has done in rough times.
1. Take a serious inventory of your life RIGHT NOW- The first key to creating life on your terms is to change your thinking. You MUST break out of the mentality of poverty and lack. You MUST stop thinking about what you don’t have and realize that at this moment all of your needs are met. If you woke up this morning and had hot water and something to eat, you are among the top 5% of richest people in the world.
Now build from there. You have everything you need-AT THIS MOMENT. There is no reason to panic and there is no need for anxiety. These emotions will simply hold you back and make things worse. And you must become aware that you’ll always have exactly what you need-whether you are a spiritual person or not-believe that whatever force that allowed you to be born into the top 5% of the richest people on earth will continue to provide for you as it always has.
2. Take a 2 week break from the news or any negativity in your life- If you are one of those people who watch the nightly news everynight before bed, scour the newspaper every morning and get news updates in your inbox, stop. Cut it off. It’s not helping you.
The media is paid to create alarm, fear and panic. Feeding that into your mind right before you drift of to sleep is the worst possible thing you could be doing for yourself.
The truth of the matter is that some of the most successful and savvy business people have secured financial freedom during times of great distress, including Bill Gates, who launched one of the most successful companies in America during the stagnation of the 70’s. Go back and read the POSITIVE news story I linked to just now. Meditate on the people that DID succeed during depressions and recessions instead of those that failed. Clear your mind of the garbage for at least two weeks before you move on to the third step.
3. “Disaster Proof” your life and business-The fact of the matter is that s*&! happens in life and business and and we can’t control everything that comes our way– but we can avoid a significant amount of stress, financial pressure and trouble by setting our business and personal assets up the right way BEFORE curveballs come down the pike. And they will.
This is the most important factor if you’re really serious about creating life on your own terms. When your business is set up properly, a lawsuit, audit or divorce is not going to dictate the way you live the rest of your life.
If you don’t have things set up the right way, it is easy to get derailed though. Have you ever seen someone so embroiled in a lawsuit, audit, or divorce that their business is on the brink of failure?
You need to have things like life insurance in place so if something were to happen to your spouse, you won’t be forced to take a job you hate just to put food on the table. If you’re in a partnership, you need to sit down with a Personal Family Lawyer and make sure that you are shielded from the personal activities of his or her life (do you want make business decisions with your partner and his bitter ex-wife should they split up someday?).
While you can’t control what happens in life, you can make sure that the impact on you and your family when it does happen is as minimal as possible and you can sail through every rough patch with confidence and grace.
I just want to point out that the first two steps to creating life on your terms are totally FREE and there’s no reason at all for you not to take them now. And if you think you can’t afford the third step of meeting with a lawyer who can help you navigate the roadmap of life, think again. Today, there are Personal Family Lawyers throughout the United States who make a lifetime relationship with a personal lawyer affordable and accessible.
Now that you’ve taken these steps and laid the foundation for creating life on your terms, be sure to come back next week when I’ll share three more steps for seeing what you want in your life become reality.
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Wealth Secrets: Life Values
You might find this hard to believe, but I grew up without values. Well, without conscious values.
In fact, up until the last several years, the word “values” was completely amorphous to me and when asked what my values were, I couldn’t answer honestly because I really didn’t know.
I don’t recall my parents ever talking with me about their values and as I’ve looked around me, I’m able to clearly see that most people are passing on their values blindly and as a result our children are learning the wrong messages.
Sure, I’ve inherited values. But those values came from places like People Magazine and Danielle Steele novels, not necessarily a recipe for everlasting success.
If I allowed myself to be led by these values, I’d spend my life searching for the next great romance to sweep me off my feet and focused on what everyone else thinks of me instead of on my own internal compass.
And trust me, this is a constant struggle.
My mind constantly tells me it’d be easier to go find someone new than to work through the hard parts in my relationship and that if I just looked this way or that way that all my dreams would finally come true.
Fortunately though, over the past several years I’ve spent a lot of time and effort on a path of self-discovery to find out what my values really are, separate from my parents, separate from the media, separate from anyone else’s and to begin to become consciously aware of how I make decisions based on my values and how those decisions affect every area of my life, most notably my wealth.
Most of us are making critical decisions about our businesses, about our families, about the way we parent our kids based on inherited values passed on without much thought.
As a result, we find ourselves in jobs we don’t like, businesses that are overwhelming, with friends who judge us and everyone else around them, blaming ourselves, complaining all the time, wondering why we aren’t happy and nearly paralyzed with an inability to make decisions about what to do next for fear we might make the wrong choice.
It doesn’t have to be this way though.
When you tap into your core values, decision-making becomes simple, clarity of heart and mind becomes certain, and your wealth will grow exponentially.
So, how do you do this?
1. Become Aware: The first step is to make the conscious decision to become aware of the values that are really guiding you. Just by reading this, you have already begun. Set a timer for 5 minutes and write down the answer to this question: “What are the highest values by which I want my life to be guided?”
As I did this process, I was aware at how much I judged my values and didn’t want to acknowledge some of them. For example, it’s hard to argue with values such as integrity, generosity and compassion. But, what about values such as beauty and financial success. These are clearly values of mine and I had to be honest about that with myself without judgment.
2. Make Conscious Choices Based on Your Values: For now on, in each moment before making a decision, stop to ask yourself, “what’s guiding me now?” Before making your next decision (whether it’s about what to eat for breakfast, whether to say yes to your kids next question, how to use your time or anything else), take 30 seconds to consider how what you decide will be a living example of your values.
Then, take another 30 seconds to choose to embody the values you want more of in your life. So for example, one of my highest values is freedom. I need to remain aware of that before I make choices that restrict my freedom, inadvertently. For example, had I decided to launch another product, service or program right before my trip, that would have infringed on the freedom I am experiencing right now. I had to make a conscious choice not to create something new even though my unconscious thought processes say to create more, do more … always.
3. Notice When You Compromise Your Values and Forgive Yourself: Invariably, as you become consciously aware of your values, you will notice where you are compromising your core values for a surface comfort or out of habitual self-sabotage. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up for it, blame yourself (or anyone else) and go into a negative pattern of defeating self talk. Just recognize it and be grateful that you are becoming aware enough to notice. That’s the first step towards transformation. And make a commitment to yourself to be more aligned with your values next time.
So, how will this increase your wealth? Tremendously. Wealth is attracted to those who are in alignment. Alignment comes from knowing yourself and knowing your values and living your life in accordance with those values. When you do, you will find yourself magnetically attracting your ideal mate, your ideal clients, your ideal job, your ideal vacations, your ideal life.
As I always say, “the first step to getting what you want is knowing what you want.” Becoming aware of your core values and living in alignment with them is the step before the first step. Mahalo.
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Wealth Secret: Don’t You Dare Settle!
One of the biggest areas I see most people hurt their wealth again and again is by settling in one or more areas and without knowing your situation, I can almost GUARANTEE that you are settling for less than you deserve somewhere in life.
I’ll admit, it’s been one of my biggest challenges, personally.
What I’ve discovered though is that not settling is one of the greatest secrets to experiencing real wealth in your life.
Like everything though, it requires awareness and practice. Today’s Wealth Secret will get you started on stopping settling for less than you deserve.
The first place for you to start is to honestly look at WHERE you are settling for less.
The likely places for you to start looking are with your relationships, business or living space.
Take an honest, good hard look.
Are you burning yourself out at home with mounting chores and housework that you hate to do, but you do them because you feel obligated or don’t have any other solutions?
Or, do you have help at home, but still feel you are often not getting your needs met?
What about your business? Does every person on your team feel like they are the best fit? Or, are you scrambling to find clients and then taking whatever walks in the door because you need to pay the bills?
While you are at it, look at your relationships. Are you settling for a relationship that isn’t all you really want it to be just because it’s “comfortable”? (I can certainly relate to this! I was 28 and had decided I could give up sex forever, no problem, just to stay married – hey ladies, if you can go without sex forever, that’s a BAD sign!)
Are you allowing negative energy to permeate your life because you are scared of change or don’t think you deserve better?
Don’t beat yourself up if you answered yes to any of these questions. It’s totally normal. In fact, I’d be super surprised if you haven’t now identified some places that you are settling for less in your life.
But, just because it’s normal, doesn’t mean you have to accept it! Who wants to be normal anyway?
I want to see you in the top 5% of the wealthiest people in the US. By definition, that’s abnormal!
So now what?
Now that you are aware, write down the areas where you have been settling and what exactly and specifically it would look like if you were NOT settling.
For example, you might write:
“I’ve been settling with my friendships. If I wasn’t settling, my friends would encourage me to keep reaching for my dreams in life without tearing me down every step of the way.”
Or maybe you’d write:
“I’ve been settling with my business. I have dreams of building a million dollar business, but the team or systems I have in place are not designed to take me to that level”
Great! Do this as many times as are necessary.
What this process will do for you is give you clarity and focus about what you DO want. That’s the first step to receiving what you want in your life and no longer settling.
Now, your job is to begin to let go of what you’ve been settling for in favor of what you want and deserve in your life and your business.
This, of course, is the difficult part. All sorts of fear will come up that makes you believe that you can’t really get what you want and it’s better to settle for something than end upwith nothing.
This thought/fear is blocking the life/business you deserve. And, it’s totally normal! But, remember, you aren’t going to be normal anymore. You are reaching for something far beyond normal.
Now that you are aware of it, you can breakthrough it. I’d love to hear how it goes for you!
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Let Comparison Despair Drive You to Your Dreams
I’m not certain, but I believe we all suffer from comparison despair. I know I do and the more I’ve achieved, it has not gone away as I thought it would.
I’ve finally realized if it’s going to go away, I’ve got to take matters in my own hands and make some conscious decisions to not let comparison despair hold me back and instead to covert this phenomenon into something wonderful for my business and my life.
Before I talk about how to do that, let’s talk about what this comparison despair is exactly.
Comparison despair is that feeling you get when you look at where other people are in their lives relative to you and you feel frustrated, maybe even angry or possibly jealous.
It’s definitely not anything that feels good that’s for sure!
It may express in your life as disbelief in someone who appears to have achieved more than you. You may have a strong desire to dismiss their success as false or disingenuous.
Or it may show up as a loss of energy or even apathy in your life. You suddenly feel like all you want to do is watch TV or veg out because there’s no way you’ll be able to catch up anyway.
When these things happen, you have a huge opportunity to WAKE UP!
Recognize the comparison despair and don’t get sucked in by it. WAKE UP and remember that you are perfect exactly as you are and where you are and that the comparison despair has a great gift for you, if you’ll let the gift come through.
As Reverend Michael would say, something is trying to emerge within you. Never let a good crisis go to waste. And comparison despair is just that, a crisis. But one that can be converted into the greatest gift of your life.
Ok, so how. How do you convert comparison despair from darkness into light?
1. Recognize it. I’ve given you an idea of what it might look like when it shows up in your life. But, it might also look different. The key is recognize when you are comparing yourself to someone else and that comparison is bringing up low energy feelings inside of you.
2. Allow It to Guide You to Your Desires: Having a life full of joy, love and passion is possible for you. It’s likely that you are feeling comparison despair because you are seeing things that other people are experiencing in their life that you want to experience in yours. GREAT! Once you know what you want, you can bring it into your life. As I always say, the first step to getting what you want is admitting what you want!
3. Show Your Gratitude For It!: Now that you’ve recognized the comparison despair and noticed that you are feeling it because it’s made you aware of something you want in you life that you aren’t currently experiencing, show your gratitude for this new awareness by taking action on bringing more of what you want into your life. Consider learning from this person who you have compared yourself to and learning his or her strategies for being, doing and having what you want in your life.
If you follow these three steps, comparison despair will never get you down again. It’ll become a beautiful and welcome guidepost to what you want more of in your life and where you are playing smaller than you know you want to be.
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