You’ve heard the saying, “it takes money to make money.”  But, the saying really should be it takes investing in the right things to make money.  You simply won’t get very far in business or life if you aren’t willing to invest in yourself or your business. But, at the same time, you do have to be smart about the investments you make.

In a world rife with scammers like Bernie Madoff and the guys who took me for $10,000, how do you decide to say yes? How do you take a risk and hand over your money without knowing for certain you aren’t being taken for a ride? How do you know if a buying decision is the right one BEFORE YOU MAKE IT?

It’s always easy to figure it out afterwards with the benefit of hindsight (at which point you’ll be beating yourself up if you made a bad decision), but how do you know in advance if you should say yes?

I came up with a system for making buying decisions after I got scammed for the last time and decided I was going to learn from the experience and create a personal system to make sure my buying decisions were the right ones.

I didn’t want to do what most people do and just stop buying or become cynical and untrusting because that’s not who I am.  I’m a trusting person.

Plus, I know that the people who I admire the most invest in themselves and grow constantly, so I didn’t want to just start saying no in reaction.  I know that every challenge is an opporutnity to be more of who I am, so for that to be the case here, I had to create a system that would help me be more of the person I want to be next time I’m faced with a “Should I Buy?” decision.  If I could do that, the $10,000 I lost was a bargain.

Here’s the system I created to help me make the right buying decisions.  Next time you are faced with a “Should I Buy” decision use this system to ensure you make the right decision and don’t get taken:

1.  Check In With Yourself

You know when something feels great (and when it doesn’t).  There’s a difference    between excited/anticipatory fear and “something’s not right here” fear.  Excited/anticipatory fear for me is just about always an immediate yes.  It lets me know I’m on the righ track and has never let me down, even when it’s really, really scary.  I always experience fear when I’m doing something big, so I no longer let fear hold me back.  But, the “something’s not right here” fear is different and when I feel it, it means I’m going to do more investigation before I say yes.

2. Look for a low-risk test investment

A great way to test out your “something doesn’t seem right” fear is to seek out a low-risk test investment.  For example, let’s say you are considering an expensive coaching program or high-priced consultant, but you aren’t sure they are the real deal and will really be able to help you as they say they can.  You could buy a more introductory product and see how you feel after saying yes to a smaller investment first.  How’s the experience?

Or, if that’s not an option, you can ask to shift the risk by asking for an out-clause if you are not pleased with the relationship after some amount of time.  VERY IMPORTANT though, make this out clause short or else your blocks may come up part way through the program and tell you that you want out, not because the process isn’t working, but because it is and it’s bringing up stuff for you.

3.  Ask for references and actually call them!

If you are making a big investment, ask for references and then call the references.  Listen closely with both your inner and outer ear to what you hear from the reference. Do not be embarassed to ask questions that will allow you to know whether this reference really used the product, program, coach or course you are considering.  If the reference is hemming and hawing or speaking reservedly, recognize what you are hearing is a disguised warning. Call at least 2 more before saying yes because it could be that one reference is just a reserved person, but if you get it from all 3, pay attention to that.  Also, if you get a reference who is over the top, ask to see examples of results experienced to ensure the reference isn’t just a shill paid to be a reference - yes, that does happen.

4.  Check In With Your Board

Give yourself a dollar amount over which you will not invest without checking in with  5 trusted friends/family members/professional advisors first and getting a yes from at least 2 of them.  In my own business, I’ve decided I won’t invest over $5000 in anything without checking in with five people that I absolutely trust and value.  If at least two of those five feel good about the decision, I’ll move forward with it.  If not, I pass.  You come up with a number that feels right for you.

The bottom line is you can avoid being taken while at the same time making the necessary investments in yourself if you have a system of checks and balances on your own decision-making process.  It takes a bit more consciousness, but that’s what it takes to grow wealth - conscious awareness as frequently as possible and your buying decisions are a great place to begin.

Every day someone dies without a Will and without naming guardians for his or her kids.  It’s something overlooked by millions of people each year because we think “it won’t happen to me” or “I trust my family to sort things out.”

And while situations like this are tragic on every level, it sometimes takes a high profile estate battle plastered all over the news to really wake us up to the necessity of preparing for death or incapacity.

And sadly this month, TWO high profile celebrities died without the necessary documents in place to thoroughly ensure the well-being and care of their kids.

We discussed Michael Jackson’s death and potential custody battle two weeks ago, but now I want to talk about Quarterback Steve McNair’s tragic and untimely death and what this means for parents who have children from a prior marriage.

I’m sure Steve McNair never imagined in a million years that anything would happen to him – like most men, he probably felt invincible.  Obviously, he wasn’t.  And he died without a Will.  His widow Mechelle was appointed administrator of his estate and she named her two sons as the only heirs.
So what’s the problem with that?

Well McNair had two children from a previous marriage that were not mentioned by his wife when she went to court.

And while McNair had been paying $500 a month in child support for at least one of the older boys, the current Mrs. McNair doesn’t believe they are his children in the first place and appears to be attempting to exclude them from receiving anything under their father’s estate.

Now, it’ll all be worked out through the probate process, sure.  And if the children are his children, they will be entitled to a portion of his estate.  But, at what cost?  And what would it have cost him to make things easy for his family?

A whole lot less than it’s going to cost them now.

So here is the lesson you must take away from this situation parents—if you have children from a previous relationship (and even if you don’t!), you must document IN WRITING how you want your children to be provided for after you are gone.

There is no reason to put your family through the pain and drama of a family fight after the tragedy of a death or serious accident.  While it’s true you won’t be here, the people you love most will be and they’ll be dealing with your failure to provide for them.

Is that really the legacy you want to leave behind?  I know it’s not.

So I encourage all of you to take a single afternoon and meet with an estate planning lawyer, preferably a Personal Family Lawyer® if there is one in your neighborhood. Get your ducks in a row so an unfortunate (and unnecessary) situation like Steve McNair’s never happens to your family.

If we have a Personal Family lawyer in your area, be sure to use the code FWS722 so your initial Family Wealth Planning Session will be at no charge to you (a value of $750) to make things even easier when it comes to ensuring the well-being and care of the people you love most.

A recent poll puts the number at 20 million.  It’s those people, mostly mothers, in the “Sandwich Generation” - a term given to adults caring for their aging parents while still supporting children of their own.  It was the subject of a documentary by a San Francisco filmmaker of her personal journey moving back to Montclair, NJ to care for her 80 year old father who was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, uprooting her business, her husband, and her two children in the process.  You can watch some of the documentary on the AARP’s website (click here).

For adults thrust into the role of caring for their parents, the biggest struggle often comes from trying to keep their dual responsibilities segregated.  They try to ensure that the needs of the aging parent don’t impact what’s going on in their children’s lives.  As an example, the adult children feel like they have to choose between making sure that Mom takes a walk for exercise and attending a child’s piano recital.  No matter what the adult parent chooses, he or she often feels like a failure at everything.

What you need to realize is that this process is not something that you can keep separated in your life.  You’ll do your family a great service by viewing it as an experience to be shared with everyone in the family, and maybe even with some members of the outside community.

If you find yourself in this triple-decker-club “sandwich generation” situation (or if you’re in it now), here are 3 practical tips I can offer:

1) Learn The Financial Facts. You may have avoided talking with your parents about finances in the past.  Whether you were taught that those things are private or “it just never came up,” now is not the time for surprises.  You need to know how your parents are doing financially and whether they’ve made any provisions in case they become ill or suffer a long-term disability.

2) Get The Estate In Order.  At this stage of your parent’s life it’s important to make sure that your parent’s legal house is in order.  My client’s parents enjoy a healthy discount on their estate planning.  But, no matter where you get it done, your parents absolutely need to have a financial power of attorney, advance health care directive (a health care power of attorney plus a living will), and a simple will.  It may not be the best estate plan for your parents.  It might not be proper Medicaid planning.  However, it is the bare minimum you will need to help care for your parents.

3) Insure Against the Future. Now is the time to examine long-term-care insurance or assess whether savings will cover an extended nursing home stay, assisted-living facility costs or extended home-care services.  You may be tempted to begin to liquidate your holdings or stop saving for your own benefit to help pay for the cost of your parent’s care.  Big mistake.  Remember that there aren’t nearly the same kind of government programs or lending scenarios that will help you pay for your kids, or their college or fund your retirement, as there are to help support aging parents.  It’s vital that you continue to save for your retirement.

Several weeks ago I laid the foundation for you to begin Creating Life on Your Terms™.  We discussed how you CAN live a life of wealth, health and happiness (in spite of the economy or your apparent lacking circumstances), if you can learn to harness the power of manifestation.

The process of manifestation is quite simple in theory, but can be extremely challenging in application because it first requires you to acknowledge what you truly, truly, truly want in life.

Most people get stuck here.  What we really want can be deeply buried and protected, so much so that very few of us ever discover what we really want.

In my own life, I’ve mentioned that my true heart’s desire is to spend more time with my kids and be a hands-on mom.  Because it scares me that I’ll never be able to have that and indulge my love of business and desire to be rich, I rarely let that desire be truly felt.

The other thing that we do when we really want something and allow it to be felt is that we become attached to it and began to need it to happen.  Attachment and neediness will repel what you are trying to manifest.

Not admitting my desire and then when I did getting totally attached to it and needing it to happen are two things that have held me back from manifesting my true heart’s desire, but I’m finally breaking through it and experiencing exactly what I’ve wanted for a long time, but blocked … big TV.

Six years ago, I appeared on the O’Reilly Factor.  I was SO excited.  Secretly I’ve always wanted to be on TV.  As a kid, I longed to be Miss America, but felt way too dorky for that to ever happen.

When I got called to do O’Reilly as a breastfeeding advocate, I woke up a long dormant desire.  A desire I blocked because it seemed so unlikely and impossible.  Then, I appeared on O’Reilly and I was so not TV ready that I buried the desire way down sure that there was no possibility it would ever happen for me.

And since I was denying my desire to be on TV completely, guess what?  There WAS no chance I’d get on because I wasn’t doing anything to move myself in that direction.

A couple of years ago, the desire began to resurface.  But, this time, when it did, I had done enough inner work to know that I could create life on my terms and if I wanted to be on TV, I could do it.  So instead of pushing the desire down, I embraced it and began to do the work necessary to see it happen.

Each time I appeared on TV, I recognized something I needed to work on.  Hair and makeup came first.  Then, ease and comfort.  Next, I’ll work on the pitch of my voice.  Each time now I get a little bit better.

About 18 months ago, thanks to my manifestation process, I began to get quite a bit of TV.  The Today Show, monthly appearances on Better TV, and regular shots on CNBC’s On the Money.

Once I recognized that I could actually make this happen, I went a little overboard with my desire.  I’m sharing this with you so that when you get the first part of manifestation down and get in touch with your heart’s desire, you won’t do what I did and mess it up.

I got attached.  Suddenly, I didn’t just desire it, I needed it.  And, if it didn’t happen, I was going to be upset, angry, depressed.

Fortunately, I recognized the attachment and that the solution was to stop and walk away until I didn’t need it anymore and was doing it for the pure joy of it.  So, for nearly a year I didn’t do any media.

Two months ago in Maui, I told my diamond Mastermind gals that I was ready to get back on TV.  Now it’s from a different place though.  I’m ready, but I don’t need it.  If it doesn’t happen, if I don’t end up with my own show, that’s a-okay.  I’m ready because I love it, not because I need it.

And I began to take action from a place of love, not fear that I would lose out or miss out if I didn’t.

I began getting myself “camera ready” again.  I updated my media site to include my updated headshots and newer TV appearances as though CNN and Fox would be knocking on my door any day.  I started the mommy business web series and getting back in front of the camera on a regular basis so I could be in the energy of what I wanted.  Finally, I kept myself open for the possibilities that when the time was right, something would happen to get me back on TV and I would be ready when it did.

On June 25th, 2009 when I received word of Michael Jackson’s devastating and untimely death, I didn’t have to think about whether I wanted to go on TV to talk about it or whether I was ready or whether I was the right person, I knew I was.

And because I knew it and had made myself ready for it, the media saw it that way too.  Within days of Michael’s death, I appeared on Fox, Fox Business, CNN, and CNBC.

I’m far from the only estate lawyer in the country that could be talking about these issues.  The networks chose me to be their expert on this issue over all the estate lawyers in the world because I was ready and I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than big audience television.   I didn’t need it, but if it came knocking, I’d say yes.

I was simply open for the opportunity because I had already acknowledged it, acted on it and now was expectantly, but patiently, waiting for it to come to pass in my life.

If you are experiencing lack in your life at this present moment, try something different.  Take the time to  get crystal clear on what would bring you joy or wholeness or satisfaction at this point in your life.  Don’t judge whatever it is. Then talk about it, draw it, make a vision board about it, tell people about it and begin to take the actions you’d take if you knew it would happen.  Stay open to the possibilities and jump on them the minute you see that door of opportunity crack open.  Just don’t get attached or needy.  That’ll repel what you are seeking to attract.

I promise you, if you can get this down—you’ll never struggle internally over your dreams or your wealth again!

If anything good comes out of Michael Jackson’s untimely death at all, it will be the universal wake-up call to parents around the globe that says, “You must name guardians for your children in the event of your death of incapacity!”

With a custody battle brewing between the Jackson Family, Michael’s nanny and the biological mother of Michael’s children (who might not be the biological mother after all according to reports), in addition to the battle between creditors over his estate, news outlets are finally reporting on the absolute necessity of estate planning for all families with children and what the absence of it means for parents across the globe.

Parents rich and poor, young and old must realize it’s time to put the “It won’t happen to me” or “I’ll worry about it later” mentality aside when it comes to estate planning and doing what’s necessary to protect your kid’s well-being and care if, and when you can’t be there.

Michael Jackson had a slew of lawyers who handled his affairs. You would think someone, somewhere would have taken the time to explain exactly what would happen to his children and his assets if he passed away suddenly—or even found himself unable to care for the kids due to his drug addiction or complications from Lupus.

Clearly, if Michael Jackson’s estate planning could fall through the cracks, imagine the millions of people that would find themselves legally unprepared should the worst happen to them or someone they love. Maybe even you.

Unfortunately, you cannot predict how or when you will die- but you absolutely can dictate how your children and your assets will be handled after your death with advanced legal planning.

One of the common myths about estate planning is that “It’s just for rich people” or “it’s only necessary for old people”— neither of these excuses can be any further than the truth!

The truth is … if you have a child, whether you have $10 or $10 million dollars, you MUST at a bare minimum name legal guardians for your child in the event of your inability to care for them. Naming guardians includes both short term guardians for the immediate term and long-term guardians.

It doesn’t matter how old you are or how close you are with your family, if you don’t put guardianship decisions in writing, your child could end up in the middle of a very messy custody battle—or even worse—in the care of the state foster system!

Naming guardians for kids is so vitally important that we’ve created a free website at kidsprotectionplan.com so parents can name guardians free of charge without even stepping foot into a lawyer’s office.

And for those people who now realize they need something more comprehensive to make life as easy as possible for their family, we’ve trained Personal Family Lawyers throughout the United States to provide families and small business owners access to an affordable lifetime relationship with a personal lawyer in their own neighborhood.

And because of the affordable nature of these resources (or FREE nature in the event of kidsprotectionplan.com ), there is no excuse for leaving your family a huge mess like Michael Jackson’s family will have to deal with in the event of your death or incapacity.

So, use this horrible event as a wakeup call and take control of your future and that of your kids! Don’t wait another day to document exactly who you want to raise your children if something happens to you before they can care for themselves. Take the time to document the values you’d want passed on to your kids and how you’d want them to be raised if you were no longer around.

Do these things NOW before it’s too late, or the court may end up making these choices for you, to the detriment of your kids. And share this article with a friend or family member who has little kids at home. They’ll thank you for it.