Confessions of Financial Fear

You want truth? Here it is.

Last month I had to put $20,000 into my company from my own personal money. I’m supposed to be beyond that stage. I have a 7-figure business.

It was only for a few days to cover an early payroll due to the Thanksgiving holiday, but that was a few too many days.

When I look at what’s happening and why I had to put money in when my company is making so much money, I saw that I’m at the stage where I either need to invest money in marketing my business or cut back on my expenses. And this is the place where most entrepreneurs ultimately fail.

To invest in growth requires additional capital. And since I don’t currently have a line of credit for this business, additional capital means my own bank account. (I’ll be talking with you about lines of credit and how to get one set up the right way as part of LIFT. I used lines of credit in my law firm and it was key to our growth, but the lending enviro is much different today than it was back in 2005/6).

That’s scary shizznit.

But, the truth is that my expenses are high. And yet they are what they need to be in order to keep everything going.

From a support perspective, a housekeeper, a personal assistant, and a business manager are the bare minimum I can get along with. I “need” this type of support so that I can have the time and space to run my company(ies), take care of my own self and find the creative time I need to be happy and fulfilled.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m coaching with Tim Kelley about my purpose and it’s some of the most intense and rewarding personal work I’ve ever done at the mind level. To do it well and experience the most transformation and clarity takes an investment of time.

I need to find the creative time for this work and I won’t if I have to do my bookkeeping and clean my house. I’d seriously die. Well, I probably wouldn’t die, but that’s what it feels like when I think about it. Like I would die if I had to do my bookkeeping, clean my house and a hundred other little things that I have amazing support people do for me. Like packing for the move.

I now realize that this is where most business owners people are. I used to be paralyzed by financial fear. I couldn’t invest in my business because I was terrified. Beyond terrified. Frozen.

It kept me completely and totally stuck. I was so frugal. Okay, I was cheap. Massively cheap. Like split the bill to the penny because I didn’t want anyone else to pay a penny less than me cheap.

I had a breakthrough and became willing to invest in my business when I finally saw there was no other way to grow. If I wanted to expand, I’d need help. To get help, I’d need to hire people and pay them. So, I did it. Scared to death every second.

But as soon as I committed, the resources I needed showed up in the form of teachers to help me re-price and package my services and clients who paid my increased fees, neither of which I would have experienced had I held to my prior narrow thinking that I would do it all myself.

That breakthrough coincided with an awakening in my body and suddenly I cared about how I felt on a daily basis. I wanted to feel good. I could no longer live numb.

I began going to yoga. I spent 4 days/week going to yoga and adding up numbers in my head. Worrying that I would run out of money. But, breathing my way through it.

And as a result, my business finally started making money. A lot of money. It was the year I hit my first million. 2006.

I eliminated a lot of financial fear then. But, it wasn’t because I hit a million.
It was because I knew I’d be okay no matter what. No. Matter. What. I knew how to make money.

Yes, bringing in clients was part of it. But, the other part of it was that I became willing to take on the support people I needed to grow the business as well as invest in the coaching I needed to make smart decisions.

Fast forward a few years. With the perspective I have now, I can see how financial fear is the thing that holds us back from experiencing the business and life growth we desire. I have so much support today. That support gives me the freedom to do what I do best, to give my greatest gifts and have the time I need to take care of myself and create. All good.

When it becomes not so good is when I freak out because the support costs money and I have to put money into my business from my own pocket. My biggest challenge when that happens (and it will during times of growth) is to not get struck by financial fear and start making bad decisions.

The last time I felt serious financial fear was at one point during the peak of the hysteria regarding whether we were in a recession. There was this one day, I felt so terrified. It was like I was going to die. When I think about my actual financial situation at that time, there was nothing to be terrified about. And yet, I was. The energy of the nationwide financial fear seeped into my body.

It didn’t last long. A few days maybe. But even a short period of financial fear can hurt relationships. Making decisions from financial terror can be catastrophic.

It’s where most of us get stuck. No matter how much money you are making in your business, you are going to butt up against your own financial fear at some point. How you handle it determines if you reach the next level of success or not.

We all want the support we need to do what we do best and the freedom of not having to worry about making our bills. But most of us don’t know how to get from here to there.

Here’s one way. Bring awareness. Take a good hard look at what you’ve not been willing to look at. Really dig in and pay attention to the places where you need to make choices. Like what do you really, really, really, really want? What is truly important and what can you let go? And is the fear real or like mine was for many years merely an illusion brought on by mass financial hysteria?

I was talking with my sister a while back and since we were raised by the same parents and under the same circumstances, she’s got the same financial fear I used to have. She is still caught up in it. As a result, she was doing a job she didn’t really love because of the steady paycheck and kept putting off starting her business. Here’s what’s nutty. My sister has $100,000 saved up from that job. And yet, she’s still operating from financial fear and not reality or awareness. What that said to me is that this is something I need to help people with because it seriously is one of the major “secrets to my success.”

I’ve managed to breakthrough my financial fear almost completely and as a result I have the freedom to make choices that allow me to live my life on purpose.

Once you have money handled, you are freed up to focus on the gifts you are really here to give. We are not here to worry about money. We are here to have a meaningful impact.

How is worrying about money holding you back from making your own meaningful impact? Where are you not getting the support you need because you don’t have the money or are not willing to invest the money you do have in yourself? How are you compromising in your own life because of financial fear? The first step is awareness. Leave a comment and let me know where you now have awareness of how financial fear is stopping you.

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