Custody: What Does Best Interest of the Kids Really Mean
I’ve been giving the issue of co-parenting, custody and the “best interest of the kids” a lot of thought recently.
I know so many people who kick themselves for having had children with the father or mother of their children.
I haven’t yet met someone who is a single parent by choice (as opposed to widowed) and is co-parenting with their “baby-daddy” or “baby-mama” who hasn’t at least once entertained the thought of “Oh my God, how could I actually have had children with this human being!?! My children are doomed!”
Truthfully, I don’t think I’ve met a couple who is still together and hasn’t thought that at least once! These feelings are obviously much stronger and more frequent when you are no longer in a loving partnership.
It becomes very difficult during such times to know what’s in the best interest of your kids.
Here’s what I return to … though honestly sometimes it can take a while to get back to this kind of thinking if I’m really riled up.
1. So long as my kids are physically safe, it is in their best interest to have a great relationship with their dad.
2. It is my job to empower my kids to deal with anything that comes their way in life and to look within themselves for their values.
3. I trust that inherently my kids know what feels right and what doesn’t and if I give them the tools to connect with their own internal barometer of rightness, they can adapt to all situations and events and learn from every experience - even those experiences I’d rather they didn’t have.
So, what can you do in those moments when you are cursing the day you decided to have kids with your “baby-daddy” or “baby-mama”?
- ask yourself how you can support your ex to be the best parent he or she can be without having to control the situation?
- make the decision to learn strategies to co-parent together — it may mean you have to go to a class or a therapist together. There are many great options.
- this one is the hardest, but if you can do it, you will feel great. Concede, even when you are in the right and realize that when you are not dug into a position, but instead flexible and kind (even when he or she is not!) that it’s better for your kids.
It takes a huge gulp of humble pie to do it, but afterwards I almost always feel liberated, light, and free. In contrast, as I’m kvetching over the whole thing before I’ve decided what to do and how to handle my feelings of massive consternation and guilt, I’ve got a massive pit in my stomach and a weight on my shoulders
I hope these guidelines provide some comfort to you the next time you are bemoaning the fact that you had children with your kids’ other parent - together or not.
© 2008 Alexis Martin Neely
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include everything in quotes with it: “Written by Alexis Martin Neely, mom, writer, speaker and Personal Family Lawyer. Alexis makes it super easy for your family to talk about and plan for sticky subjects like money, death and taxes. Get Alexis’ humorous, enlightening, and often quite revealing “Wealth Secrets” at: www.FamilyWealthMatters.com.”
custody…
It is essential that you offer mediation before initiating a child custody dispute in court. It is also essential that you offer the best deal possible to get exactly what you want for you and your children and make sure it is a deal that would ALSO re…
April 30th, 2008 | #
Hey, Really great work,I would like to join your blog anyway so please continue sharing with us,
April 28th, 2011 | #
Thank you for sharing to us.there are many person searching about that now they will find enough resources by your post.I would like to join your blog anyway so please continue sharing with us
May 20th, 2011 | #
sprrow!
May 24th, 2011 | #
Do you love life ? Then do not squander time ; for that’s the stuff5 life is made of .
August 24th, 2011 | #
also be altered based on the said conditions since it can be screwed on and off and
August 26th, 2011 | #
welcome to buy cheap jerseys on http://www.trustfuldeal.com
September 23rd, 2011 | #
cheap barbour jackets Useful information like this one must be kept and maintained so I will put this one on my bookmark list! barbour jackets
September 24th, 2011 | #
This specific website is not only excellent pertaining to shirts along with less difficult, however , pertaining to many other components for example lamps, NFL crafted
household furniture, along with far more.
October 7th, 2011 | #
That was the prospect, we had in the future via and that we gotit completed.”Santana joined the Co Rockies Jerseys game5-0 which has a 3.86 ERA as part of his last 5 begins as well as was presented an early on lead whenthe Angels scored a couple of in the to start Ranger starter H.J. Wilson. However theRangers could actually keep coming back for his or her 6th directly earn and third straightover the particular Angels.
October 31st, 2011 | #
haha..natawa naman ako nag dodota ka pa nun hehe..
kami nun nag aakyat na ng gamit sa taas kasi ang bilis talaga nung tubig kamusta naman ang marikina di ba ehhe..
tagal mo din di nag update ah ehhe..
November 3rd, 2011 | #
Hip Hop Jewelry
Cheap Hip Hop Jewelry is mainly for sale in fashion Hip Hop Chains,and Hip Hop Pendant
and Disco Ball Chain as well,with brass, cubic zirconia stones and nylon string all by hand-made.
November 4th, 2011 | #
wholeslae tresor paris
Wholesale Tresor Paris jewellery offers bracelets,necklaces and packings-Tresor Paris
jewellery all by hand-made with a variety of precious gemstones crystals magnetite balls
and fabrics”
November 4th, 2011 | #
We share this with thanks
Hip Hop Jewelry
November 4th, 2011 | #
These products are designed for a wide range of sports, including: track and field, ice hockey, tennis, football, soccer,lacrosse, basketball, cheerleading, golf, and aquatics.
November 8th, 2011 | #
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. louis vuitton tote The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.
November 10th, 2011 | #
That must be the story of innumerable couples,
and the pattern of lifeof life it offers has a homely grace.
It reminds you of a placid rivulet,
meandering smoohtly through green pastures and shaded by pleasant trees,
till at last it falls into the vasty sea;
but the sea is so calm, Tiffany Locket so silent,so infifferent,
that you are troubled suddently by a vague uneasiness.
Perhaps it is only by a kink in my nature,
strong in me even in those days,
that i felt in such an existence,
the share of the great majority, Anchor Pendant something amiss.
I recognized its social value.
I saw its ordered happiness,
but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course.
There seemed to me something alarming in such easy delights.
In my heart was desire to live more dangerously.
I was not unprepared for jagged rocks and treacherous,
shoals it I could only have change-change and the exicitement of unforeseen
November 10th, 2011 | #
When times become difficult (and you know they sometimes will), remember a moment in your life that was filled with joy and happiness. louis vuitton pas cher Remember how it made you feel, and you will have the strength you need to get through any trial.
November 10th, 2011 | #
Just like you look into by yourself are usually cooling fan during this kind — the absolutely love in the recreation, you will accumulate a lot of the specifics of this staff together with footballer, these kinds of you might look at find the jerseys by their personal bank within the dresses. And after that, you have to know anything precisely how to acquire the perfect MLB jerseys.
December 29th, 2011 | #
http://www.wholesaleoakleyssunglasses.net/
January 16th, 2012 | #
Great explanation about this specific concept,thanks.
January 27th, 2012 | #
http://www.fakeoakleys4sale.net/
February 22nd, 2012 | #