How Can I Afford It?
February 27, 2008
When I graduated from law school, first year starting salaries at the big law firms were 135k/year.
I thought I was rolling in the dough. I had started working at 14 when minimum wage was $3.35. I worked my way through college waitressing and through law school working for Westlaw. Even with all that, I graduated with nearly 100k in student loans.
I thought 135k was big money! And it would have been if I had been a single woman. But, I wasn’t.
I was the breadwinner in my family, supporting my husband and our two kids. We bought a house, paid taxes and suddenly that big paycheck was stretched mighty thin. I was constantly pinching pennies, feeling the squeeze.
I wanted to leave the big law firm and start my own firm, but thought I couldn’t afford it. I started to resent my job, my husband, and our house.
I felt stuck.
Until the day my mindset shifted from “I can’t afford it” to “How can I afford it?” Suddenly, a whole new world of possibilities opened up.
I found the resources to launch my law firm in the most unexpected places. And although I felt scared as I pushed myself beyond my comfort zone, not only financially, but emotionally and spiritually as well, I learned that I would never run out.
Today, that lesson continues to serve me.
As I prepare to send two kids to private school, I no longer say “I can’t afford it” even though if you asked a traditional financial advisor she’d say no way can I afford it.
Instead, I ask “how can I?” and know that because it’s important to me, I will find the resources I need.
Here are some ways I’m doing it:
I’m downsizing my housing costs significantly; I’ve traded in my fancy leased car for a less expensive used car; and I found a roommate on CoAbode, a website for single mom’s looking to share housing.
The best part about these money-savers is they’ve actually enhanced my life.
The house I’m moving into is my dream house! It’s on a walkstreet in Hermosa and while it needs a lot of work right now, it could be my forever house.
My car is great to drive and Jodi isn’t just a roommate, she’s a blessing. She does all the grocery shopping and cooking and brings a sunny energy into my life, not to mention the cutest baby you can imagine. She’s the housewife I’ve always dreamed of having and is the ideal addition to my harem.
None of this happened by accident. If I had kept up the “I can’t afford it” mantra in my mind, I’d never have let in all of the goodness that is flowing into my life.
So next time you think you can’t afford it, think again.
© 2008 Alexis Martin Neely
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What a wonderful and inspirational article. Thank you for writing this. My husband and I aren’t great earners, so I feel like we spend our entire lives saying we can’t afford things. Most of the time we probably can’t. I feel like our children loose out a lot, like they can never participate in summer camp because we can never afford it.I am in the process of trying to find another job with a better salary and you have really inspired me - thank you.
Thank you for writing such an inspirational article!
I agree with this article whole heartedly and do think that it is very inspirational. But Alexis, I have a question for you and I don’t mean to be rude but I am very curious. I’ve read a lot of your articles where you describe how you have turned your law firm into a million dollar business. With all the success you have had in your practice, why is it that you still need to downsize in your car/housing to afford private school? How much $$ does one have to make to have enough??
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Caroline, this is a great question! And one it’s my pleasure to answer.
I’m downsizing so that I can enjoy what I have more and worry about the money a lot less. About 6 month ago, maybe more, I read the Four Hour Work Week, by Tim Ferriss, got to meet him and even interview him for one of our Family Wealth Health and Happiness calls and what he helped me crystallize is that I can always make more money, but what I can’t make is more time.
Since then, I’ve started valuing my time much, much more. And, reducing the money I need to live on so that the time I do spend working in my law firm is spent because I want to be there, not because I need to be there.
Today, I only take on new clients that I absolutely want to work with. And, I focus the bulk of my time growing the Family Wealth Planning Institute, which will change the face of lawyering in America, blogging, reading, being with my kids and my honey.
I’m still able to support my ex-husband, invest in the growth of the Family Wealth Planning Institute, move into my house 3 houses from the beach in Hermosa, travel around to speaking engagements flying first class, see my honey frequently, send my kids to private school and make charitable donations to organizations I support.
That’s good enough for me.
:lol:This article was a great inspiration. It’s hard for me to cut back expenses as i am paying off a home and a graduate degree, but there are always little ways to cut back. Thanks for the inspiration.