A few days ago, I got an email from my cousin asking me whether I wanted to hear about how one of my family members stole $300,000 from me and my sister.

Let me start at the beginning …

About a month ago, my grandmother (Nana) died in Florida. Nana was my dad’s mom and I didn’t have much of a relationship with her because of an estrangement between her and my father before his death.

My father had a sister and a brother, both of whom were close to their mother, but I wasn’t entirely surprised there wasn’t any plans for a memorial service. And, truthfully, I was a little relieved because I’d have felt obligated to fly to Florida even though I haven’t been particularly close with my dad’s family … she WAS my grandmother.

Although I didn’t expect an inheritance from Nana, I did have a fleeting thought about a Will and whether Nana had included my dad.

But, it was fleeting. I didn’t think much about it.

Until …. two weeks ago. When I got the email from my cousin about the stolen 300,000 dollars. (It was interesting to note that before I saw my cousin’s email, I literally didn’t think twice about an inheritance, but once he suggested I “should have” received something, my mind couldn’t stop thinking about it and wanted to find any way possible that I would be entitled to that money, regardless of whether I was or wasn’t. Fortunately, I haven’t let my mind suck me into the game too much. I wasn’t expecting anything, though it’d sure be nice!)

Anyway, it turns out there WAS a Will prepared by Nana in 1993, leaving a specific piece of property to be divided evenly between my dad and his brother.

My uncle expected to receive this property, which would have been split with me and my sister, as my dad’s heirs, thus the 300,000 my cousin referenced in his email.

Despite the Will and my uncle’s expectation, nana had apparently quit claimed the property to my aunt before her death, nullifying the gift in the Will. And, my aunt sold the property without telling my nana or anyone else in the family!

As you might imagine, my uncle and his family are confused and can’t understand what happened or why.

Upon my uncle’s inquiry to my aunt and her family, they got very defensive, would provide no information, insisted everything had been done legally and if my uncle had a problem with it, he could get a lawyer.

The trouble is, no one knows what my Nana really wanted.  Up until she died, she’d been telling my uncle he’d be taken care of; he’s totally confused and doesn’t know where to turn other than to place blame on his sister who ended up with all the assets.

It’s possible my Nana was afraid to tell my uncle that she was giving everything to my aunt.  It’s possible Nana didn’t know what she was doing too.  The truth will never be completely known now.  It’s too late.

My nana’s failure to tell everyone what she wanted before her death has now caused a massive rift in the family that likely will never be healed.

Don’t do this to your family.

Clearly communicate your wishes before it’s too late. Make sure all your children know in advance what you want to happen if you become incapacitated or after you are gone. Leave your family with the gift of a Personal Family Lawyer who will be there for your family after you are gone and make sure everyone knows exactly what you wanted.

There will be no fighting, no confusion, no wondering why.  Your loved ones deserve that.