My dad died a few years ago. The week after his death is a complete blur to me. Somehow, we arranged for his cremation and put together a memorial service at a Jewish funeral home near his house.

I have no idea how all of these arrangements were made. I was useless in my grief.

Someone had the clarity of mind to make all these arrangements; I think it must have been my step-mom, Amy.

I imagine that making decisions for her in those few days was extremely difficult, if not impossible.

And there’s no way to know if we were making smart decisions.

Did we pay too much for the service? The flowers? Did we have options we didn’t consider or did we just go with the “traditional” because we couldn’t think beyond that?

Yesterday, I interviewed Pam Vetter who is an end of life celebrant and she opened my eyes to so many things I know we didn’t think about at my dad’s death.

Pam works with families to create a personalized end of life celebrations. Even more than that though, she guides families through the decisions about how to handle after-death arrangements so you know you are making smart choices, not getting taken advantage of during a time of grief, and can focus on healing.

Pam came to this work after her sister’s death. Her family wanted to create a personal memorial service for her sister, but the church pastor wouldn’t allow it and her family’s healing was disrupted by the cold, non-personal service. Pam got trained as a celebrant so she could make sure no other family faced the uncertainty, pain and bewilderment her family did after her sister’s death.

You can hear my interview with Pam on our Family Wealth Health and Happiness call if you are a Personal Family Lawyer Family Wealth VIP Membership client. You’ll be receiving the CD in the mail in January.

You can reach Pam on the web or by calling (818) 313-9009. Whenever you experience the death of a loved one, I recommend you call Pam Vetter or a local celebrant in your area before calling anyone else.